Crazy Mum

Dieting

2010-09-12T23:31:00.005+08:00

For everyone that has been on a diet, is currently on a diet, about to go on a diet and have totally given up on diets. Also for those who are rolling their eyes because I am on a diet. I know who you are and you know who you are....hahahaha..

Going on a diet is not a bad thing. Some people think of it as a bad word like it's vulgar or something. Before you judge and form preconceived notions of why you think I am on a diet let me tell you why.

It's about economics. I am not about to go out and buy new clothes just because my pants are really tight at the moment. I just have to stop eating more than I need too. It saves me money on a new wardrobe and grocery. Brilliant.

It takes self discipline and courage to admit that I have to do something about my eating habits rather than let it control and rule my life. I make lifestyle changes to the time I eat, what I eat and how much I eat. Being hungry for hours and not stuffing my face takes lots of discipline. You see humans only need about 1500 calories a day and 3 meals a day. So don't worry I am not about kill myself or develop an eating disorder.

For vanity, I do it for vanity. I am not going to be all self righteous and say that I am not vain. I am very vain. A decade ago a very wise man, whom I eventually married taught me that....."you have to look good to feel good" sometimes in life you have to start somewhere. If feeling good about yourself means you have to look good so be it.

Staying in control. Like everything else in my life from the colour of my eye shadow to the type of coffee I like. It's a choice I make to stay at a certain weight. Not everyone is going to agree, and I fully understand and respect that everyone is different. So the same rule applies here, if you are happy with the way you look and weigh. Let me decide for myself how heavy I should weigh and feel. What's most important is that you are comfortable and happy in your body. Big, medium or small.

^_^ I am happiest at my lightest. Blame it on the media, fashion industry, men, society I don't really care.

Your Dream life

2010-09-07T12:15:00.004+08:00

Having the life you want is not impossible. It's very much like building a house lots of time, effort, cement and knowing what you want. Most happy people did not get to where they are by luck. It's was a journey of careful planning, taking calculated risk, learning from mistakes and some brain.

When you look for that dream house you start by looking for a suitable location very much like how you search for that special someone to spent the rest of your life with. You have some idea what you want but you never really know until see it/him/her.

After you found something suitable you lay the foundations and make sure they are strong and steady as a rock or your house will come tumbling down. You make sure that you have common values with regards to children and their up bringing, similar family values even religious and financial goals. A failure to come to terms with core values is like building a house with only 80% of the foundation in place. Not doomed for complete failure but lots of work, effort and time will be required to patch falling pieces along the way.

Once you get that house up you fill it up with things that you love and make it a home. Very much like the rest of your life, you fill it up with people you care about, people that are positive and of good character. But you also learn to let go and eradicate people that are bad for you no matter how painful. You will find if you surround yourself with people and things that you love. You will in return feel loved.

Fundamentally it's all about knowing what you want and not settling for anything less. If you haven't figured out what you want in life maybe it's time you started thinking about what will make you jump out of bed with a smile on face so that everyday will be the best day of your life. You create it one small step at a time, it may take years and sometimes you fall or take a few steps back. But you keep looking forward and you do whatever it takes to build that life that you envision in your mind. You remove obstacles, by pass them or take a detour but you never never look back.

Finally, you do it alone if you have to, you are the sole driving force to creating that life. There is no perfect life there will still be ups and downs, trials and tribulations. But you deal with it one at time and move on, staying focused on your final destination.

It may seem a little over simplified but it's not about money or having the best job or living in the best district. It's about being true to yourself and knowing that you have taken every EFFORT to make your life worth living.

People will beat you down, creeps will come into your life and suck you dry. Toilets will leak, cars will break down and children will fall sick. You cannot control what happens neither can you change the world or your neighbour but you can choose how you react to them and you can choose what you want to do about it. Remember that when you are in control of yourself, you will be in control of your life. Suddenly the world seems a better place.

This was written for a dear friend that is feeling rather down at the moment. Hope this helps you out of your darkness.

Time to move on

2010-05-20T16:19:00.003+08:00

It's time to move on again. This is the 5th time I am moving in the last 8 years. This time we are saying good bye to Seletar Springs, the place where my 2nd child, Danica, was born. This place will forever have a special place in my heart. It's like a breaking up with someone and never getting over it but you still some how manage to move on in life.

I love this place. I can't explain it but there is something about it that draws you and captivates you. We are off to Sunrise Close just 3 traffic lights or 3.2km away from Gerald Drive where we are currently at. I hope that as we move on to a bigger home, we will create new memories and I will find another special place in my heart for it. We start renovations and packing in the next couple of weeks, I pray that all goes smoothly and the children settle in nicely. It's not a nice feeling when it's bedtime and you are left wondering, why are we not home yet mummy?

On a lighter note, I hope I don't have another child in the process of moving this time round. Wahahahahahhaa...the last 2 times I shifted I was pregnant! Sigh! Talk about bad timing, both of my children were conceived just after we signed the paper work to buy the last 2 properties. I tell you having morning sickness and vomiting all day long but still had to pack and look after another child, not to mention deal with contractors that gave me contraction on a daily basis was no joking matter. Thank goodness so far so good, we get our keys in 2 weeks and I am NOT pregnant at the moment.

Goodbye, Seletar Springs, one day when the time is right, I will return to this great great place I once called home.

Happiness and Me

2010-05-05T10:41:00.003+08:00

If happiness is something that someone gives you, it also means that happiness can be taken away from you. However if happiness is something you give yourself, you will be a happy person. Off course I am not saying that you will never feel other emotions like anger and sadness. But rather you will be able to walk with a bounce in your gait and wake up feeling life is great.

Happiness starts from being happy about smallest things in life. Sounds too simple.

Happiness is a state of mind that reflects your perspective on life. It is not to be confused with the feeling you get when you purchase something and the sudden rush of endorphin that surges through your brain which is mostly temporal.

I have decided that I will be a happy person and I give thanks for everything that I have. But the key for me to happiness is the removal of resentment. Resentment can eat you alive. It can destroy you.

It took me 36 years to realise that I if I resent others for my situation in life, I will forever be miserable.

Happiness to me is the knowing that I have someone to count on and rely on what I am feeling down. I do not dwell on our differences and I look forward to making up after a fight. But the most amazing thing is I don't expect him to change one bit not for me not for anyone else.

Happiness to me is having great friends to share special moments, I celebrate our diverse personalities and accept them with all their idiosyncrasies and respect their way of life.

Happiness is waking up and knowing that my children loves me and needs me, yet I also look forward to the day where they are independent and ready to take flight.

Happiness is looking forward into the future even though I have no idea what it brings, embracing it one day at a time. Good or bad I know I will learn something from it.

Happiness is being at peace with myself and accepting me for who I am, knowing my limitations and recognising my flaws as a human being.

Happiness is knowing that I am responsible for my own Happiness and I have what it takes to sustain me when everything else fails.

Facebook Etiquette

2010-04-30T13:30:00.005+08:00

I really need to get it off my chest....so here goes!

Oh for crying out loud, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it. You don't have have to comment on every post that appears on your news feed. Most of the time people are not really interested in your opinion if it's not nice. So if you disagree with something you see, you should just move on to the next line. But if you really feel the need to say something because you are feeling offended by the content. Please try and say it in a politically correct manner that will not embarrass the writer, especially if the contend wasn't offensive to begin with but it just rubbed you the wrong way. Having said all these, yes you can joke and have fun because people are not stupid. They know when you are are just goofing around and won't take it to heart.

Please keep it short, you are not writing an essay. I've seen comments that are 4 paragraphs long. You know you've written too much when your comments have a little arrow that says "read more". It means your comment got truncated because it would take up too much space on the news feed.

Also you don't have to relate your life story and experiences to the world whenever you read something that is close to your heart. Most people don't give 2 horses arse what you did 5 years ago over and over and over again. Enough already with the "......it happened to me too and you know if you do this, this will happen and this was how i got over it and now i have no regrets cos i am glad that i did that blah blah blah.......on and on and on over and over over again." You relate it once great, but hello! 75 times over the last 12 months????

You have no moral authority over people so save the lectures and speeches. Unless you really mean well, off course you if really meant well you could privately send that person a message.

Somethings are best left unknown. Leave out details that will let the entire world you have no money, poor and cannot afford most things in life.....it's not something you should be bragging about or if you had a fight with your husband. Sigh!

OK off my chest....feeling better.

Have a great weekend. :-)

Becoming Me

2010-04-28T08:36:00.004+08:00

As a teenager I was angry, rebellious and rather annoying. I gave my parents a hard time, teachers rolled their eyes when they saw me and my principal knew my first name and had my parents number on speed dial. I broke every single rule, defied every norm and experimented with everything. Testing boundaries and pushed every limit placed in front of me. Thank goodness I survived and made it into my twenties relatively unharmed. I picked up a few friends along the way that are still my best pals up till today. Rest of the people I met kind of just faded away and got left along the road side as I progressed on with life.

In my 20's I became a little needy and confused about myself. A chain of events left me feeling defeated and dejected with life and I started to wonder if life is just about a series of disappointments. I picked up a couple of great friends along way from the strangest places and till today they are still hanging around. But the low of my 20's made me strong and resilient. I figured out that that if something doesn't kill you, you are good to go again. At the same time I realised something far more important. You receive what you give. If you give out love, good will and effort, you will get in return more love, good will and people's effort. You also attract the nice people if you are nice and if you are just a mean motor mouth shooting off what is on your brain, you will in return attract mean people quick to judge and criticise.

Half way through my thirties. I am now certain who I am, where I am going and what is important to me. I have decided that I am no push over, floor mat and will not tolerate having people in my life that make my feel lousy about myself. It's takes courage to cut people out that you know are no good for you. I take no crap from no one and I also try to give no crap to anyone. If you surround yourself with people and things that you love, you'll find that life is indeed great. Many people live their life from day to day thinking, this is my life and there is nothing I can do about it. There is something you can do about it. One small step at a time. If you don't like the way you are being treated, walk away! You can't change the world and control what comes out of people's mouth but you can choose how you react to them. Instead of getting upset and all worked up you can remove yourself from the situation and subsequently remove them from your world. To all the great friends and people that I have met in my 30's I am truely blessed to have you in my life. As the saying goes what comes round goes round.

What lots of people fail to realise is that when you are happy and content with life, without having to put people down or turn green with envy because someone else has more in life materially, you too will become successful in all aspects of your life. It's an attitude towards life that will translate to everything you do.

Life is a journey and there are many paths and route to choose from, some take the short cut, others take the detour. At the end of the day we all arrive at the same final destination. So are you defined by the good that you have done at the end of your journey.

Disclaimer

2010-04-27T11:05:00.006+08:00

I would like to state for the record that all the content in this blog are my personal opinion and points of view. So if you find the content distasteful or different from your point of view.

You can choose not to read it!

Better still go start your own blog!

I am not asking anyone to subscribe to my way of life or way of thinking.

So if you please could just keep your unkind comments to yourself.

Thanks.

Staying Sane 101

2010-04-26T13:41:00.004+08:00

How to stay sane: a stay home mom's guide.

1. You are responsible for your own sanity. No one can help you on that. Not your husband, your maid or your friends nor children.

2. You need to get out. Once a week, catch up with friends find out what is happening in the world, you will realise that your life isn't that bad after all.

3. Do something for yourself. Have a pedicure and manicure, go for a foot massage,get your hair washed in a salon. Try and do it at least once a month, because you have to look great to feel great. Sometimes it starts from the outside.

4. Ask for help, pay for help, beg for help. You are not super human. Realise your limitations and learn to find help.

5. Staying home is no excuse to look like the floor rug. Dress up and paint your face, it makes you feel better, people treat you better and your husband will definitely be nicer.

6. When you've had enough, it is alright to cry and let it out. No one is going to think that you are loser. Sometimes letting your guard down and showing some venerability can be an advantage.

7. Realise that no one owes you crap and you put yourself in this position. So stop blaming the world and take an aspirin.

8. If you get too weary from the routine of everyday life, take a break, the floor can be cleaned tomorrow and the laundry won't run away. Bring the kids to the playground and let them run around while you sit on your fat ass and watch them.

9. Most importantly you have to find an outlet, a sanctuary where you can be you. Some people write, some people sing in the shower, some paint, others run for miles. By the way shopping is not an outlet. It has to be something you can do as and when you feel the need to let off some steam and be alone. Rushing around a crowded mall and queueing up to try clothes is anything but relaxing.

10. Finally, every one's tolerance and equilibrium is different. Some have higher threshold, other's crumble at the sight of puke. So you have to find that balance that keeps you sane, a balance that is healthy. No 2 person are alike, wishing all you mommies out there good luck in your quest to be the best mother and yet still your own person.

*an understanding and loving husband does makes things easier, but if you don't have one, get a babysitter, find a maid, leave the kids with the in laws. If a problem can be solved with money it's not a problem. Here's to better mental health!*

This one's for the ladies!

2010-04-21T20:41:00.006+08:00

Okay, Ladies in the house!

I am going out this Friday and no one is going to stop me! I am exhausted physically and mentally incapacitated. It's re-charge time. Beer, wine, gossip, laughter in a strikingly hot dress. Have to watch the shoes cause when I get tipsy I tend to take my shoes off and walk around barefooted.

I am so looking forward to some form of normality, speaking in sentences dotted with vulgarities, drinking beer and burping, smoke a cigarette and eating with proper cutlery. Hopefully the few hours of being an adult will allow some balance into my life.

So to the good ladies that I will be meeting this Friday! You wait for me I'll be there! To the rest of the good ladies that I promise to meet next week, I remember, I didn't forget. And to the good good ladies that I am meeting the week after next.....see you all very very soon. I couldn't possibly imagine my life without you guys.

So this one is for all the people in my life that have in any way big or small made a difference, you cared enough and were nice to me at some point. I am truly blessed to have you around and hope that your life is too surrounded by people that make you feel life is worth living.

Muarx

5 day work week

2010-04-18T12:24:00.003+08:00

I would like to propose that all stay at moms get 2 days off a week. I mean everyone else only works 5 days a week and only for 8 to 10 hours. So why should we work 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Hell we don't even get public holidays off. Even on vacation we are not on vacation.

Imagine if you were to stay in your office, eat in your office and live with your colleagues 24 hours a day and 7 days a week for 20 years! I doubt anyone could possibly remain sane.

I am about to go insane. My 5 year old poop in her pants because the anti-biotic that she is taking causes loose stools. My 20 month old vomited 2 nights ago because she had indigestion from not chewing meat. There is only so much puke and crap I can take and clean. So it would be great if I could get 2 days off a week where I didn't have to clean puke or crap If possible not deal with whining and crying. It would be even better if I could go out and not see them for a day or 2.

It really is the most under valued and most under appreciated job in the world. No days off, no medical leave, no pay and worse of all we still get the brunt of relatives scrutiny and criticism if the child is not of considerable size. Don't get me wrong I love my children and my family but there are really days when I wake up and wish I was on a remote island all alone. The luxury of going to toilet alone and taking a shower without having to rush. God knows how many times I have ran out of the shower naked forgetting to rinse the conditioner from my hair because I heard my children screaming.

The tenacity and the mental strength required to stay home is not for the weak minded. It takes someone with extremely strong esteem and intelligence to rise above the mud and be the lotus. So if you think you can get through the day with zero adult interaction, speak in monosyllabic words, look at nothing more than the 4 walls of your house and tolerate heaps of high decibel screaming, squealing and crying. You might want to consider a career as a stay home mom. Please bear in mind that you are entitled to NO SICK LEAVE, NO ANNUAL LEAVE, NO PAY and NO CPF. You however get in return the love and adoration of your children and hopefully the kind understanding of your spouse.

Peace, over and out!

None the wiser

2010-04-15T12:12:00.005+08:00

5 years and 2 kids later, I think I can say I am really none the wiser. I struggle everyday just to get out of bed. I try not to exercise my vocal cords so often and off course I try my utmost best not to use the words "SHUT UP!".

I still haven't figured out why young children have to poo poo when you are doing something food related! Like when you are cooking lunch, feeding another child her meal or eating something. Sigh! I have thrown away countless dinners and lunches because I can't bring myself to eat anything after I have had to clean someones dung and buttock.

I did however find out that children from the same genetic pool i.e. same parents, can look totally different, behave in opposites, have distance in their temperaments as vast as the north and south pole. Yet amidst all these differences they MUST FIGHT AND PLAY WITH THAT ONE TOY! Even if I bought 2 identical items they will still fight.

Everyday I wake up just hoping to make it through the day without being worn down emotionally and physically by 2 small humans that I created. The last 3 days have been rather horrendous for me but that is a totally different story. I really think that when they finally grow up and decide that they don't me hanging around them anymore will truely be a happy day for me. Because that would mean that I have done such a great job raising them to be independent, strong, happy people able to look out for themselves. But more importantly I would be able to move on to the next stage of my life whatever or where ever it might take me.

Overheard

2009-09-07T21:46:00.004+08:00

This entry is to archive some of the darnest things my 4 year old has ever said.

#1. Lesson on Royal relations and her subjects.
"Daddy you are a King. Mommy you are a Queen. So I am a Princess right? and Nikky is a baby Princess." Turns and look at the maid. "You are the maid, so you just have to take care of the Baby Princess."

#2. Lesson on how the Internet works.
"Mommy? Is it you put the picture in the computer and it will float float float to your friends computer through the wire? that is why they can see my picture!"

#3. Lesson on nutrition
"You have to eat everyday, eat a lot a lot of different things. Cannot just eat instant noodles. I want to see you eat OK! Must eat rice, vegetables, meat, fish and apples and oranges...." lecturing the maid on her not so healthy diet.

#4. Lesson on how to put someone in their place.
Neighbour's kid ran into my house while Letitia was having dinner and said, "So big already still need some one to feed you! Shame Shame!" REBUTTAL of the CENTURY came flying out of my daughter's mouth, "Why cannot is it? She is my maid what!"

#5. Lesson on life and death
"Mommy, will I die? I don't want to die?" I looked at her and said, "Everyone dies when they grow old.....you are still very young very very far away from dying." Miss smarty pants replied, "Oh, so if I don't grow up, I won't grow old right? so i won't die la........I don't want to eat anymore. Cos if I eat i will grow up and i will die...." I answered her, "If you don't eat you will also die." Letitia, "Okay.....but you cannot die har mummy, i dun want you to die ok?"

Updates....

2009-08-24T08:03:00.001+08:00

This entry never got published I do not know why. It has been in my draft box for the last 2 weeks...so here goes....

Okie Dokie...i have several things to say today. Been a bit scattered lately and can't really find time to organise my thoughts. Have so thought running through my head all day.

Ethnic minority. I never would imagine that living in Singapore would I ever feel like an ethnic minority. Nope I ain't talking about going to little India on a sunday or to Geylang Serai during Hari raya. Last week I felt like an ethnic minority in Paragon!!! We took Danica to the doctor in Paragon Medical Centre and the PD that she sees happens to be Indian. So off course most of his clientele were Indians and strangely Ang Mohs. So in a room full of Indians, French, Germans, Japanese...yes Japanese...we were the only Chinese family in the room. oh oh oh there was 1 chinese administrator and another chinese lady who was the Japanese Laison Officer. She was the translator for the Japanese patients. Okay here is what make it hit me so hard......when it was our time, the Malay clerk looked at us and said " Oh Chinese it's your turn!" and she walked ahead of us and went into the Doctor's office and said to him "The Chinese are here." Ermmmm I mean....HELLO! Most people would have miss it completely and not read too much into it....but....anyway.

Next! I had a freak accident a couple of days ago. While taking a shower a big huge fat glob of shower gel flew into my eye. Aiyo! it was the most painful thing ever. Anyway to cut a long story short, I ended up attending one of my best friend's birthday thingy cos I couldn't open my eyes. I am still having a swollen eye and its still red at the moment. A trip to GP diagnosed me with Acute conjunctivitis due to allergies. Kill me la....

Anyway I am sitting here and wanted to refer to yesterdays newspaper for the property listings and my maid actually threw the newspaper away. she throws the newpaper away everyday! really nothing else better to do....never clean my door but can be bothered to bring the newapsper downstairs everyday for recycling. Come to think of it....must be really lazy lor....i told her to go and get it back.....been gone for 10 mins and still not back. sorry got a bit distracted there.

what else happened..hmmm....ah yes. My 4 year old got scolding from me and husband for interrupting our conversation guess what she said, “I am going to call the police to catch you and lock you up in the cage!” WAH! I tell you can vomit blood. 4 years old can say this kind of things. We made her apologise for what she said but she still can talk back. Guess what she said….it’s super classic. “Oh the little pony throw the daddy and mummy out the window already.” She knows how to redirect her feelings of anger and personify through an inanimate object that she was playing with. Uuurggghhhhhh……

Plus that Nikky-doo has started to crawl and her hands are like octopus. Everytime I turn my back she is up to no good. Last night for about 15 minutes when I was in the room trying to sort out some bills all I heard was my husband shouting “No Nikky no..come here nikky! NO! NO! nikky….” And the battle begins!

Have to run its Monday and its school bus driver again.

i tahan......i tahan....

2009-08-18T22:02:00.006+08:00

It just keeps getting better. Today I found dried fish scales stuck to my dishes! Huh? Yes, you heard me right. Fish scales dried and fossilised on my plates. I understand if its traces of food like cheese. But fish scales????? And I have mouldy chilli in my fridge, it had like fluffy white stuff growing all over it....come to think of it...it looked like a pussy willow...you know the CNY plant.

I don't even know what to say. What do you expect me to say.

There are fish scales stuck to my plate from yesterday....or.....why is there dried fish scales on my plate.....or......you FARKING never wash the plate and put it back in the cupboard is it????

I didn't say anything. I just gave her the plate......dunno if she knew if it was fish scales.....maybe she thought it's part of the design of the plate. I give up. Just keep my fingers crossed that my family won't get food poisoning. It's gotten so bad that I will rinse out all the kids dishes with hot water before I put food in it. Worried that she might have put soap on it and forgot to rinse it out.

Oh did I also mention that she doesn't clean the inside of my microwave or my fridge. Imagine my horror one day when i opened the microwave and saw bits of food stuck to the top and side of the walls. Oh the fridge....hahhahaha...she has never cleaned the inside of a fridge before....ahahhahaha......she didn't know it could be cleaned. I had to teach her how to take the shelves out.

And for the last 6 months she has not cleaned my kitchen door. I leaned on it a few days ago and got stuck to the door because it was so greasy...it had become like glue!!!!! WLE! You all know who I am talking about la. She has 4 years experience in Singapore lor, really makes you wonder how other people live?????

Oh oh oh oh oh oh....the Ultimate GROSSSSSSSSSSSS thing!!!! The first few days when she arrived she didn't lift the toilet seat to wash the toilet. I lifted the seat and I almost passed out, it was worse than MRT station toilet okay. I was wondering why my bathroom was reeking of pee and found out that she only use the brush to inside of the bowl........haiz........

Enough whining for the day. Need to go and recharge so that I can face another day of whatever you call it..........its not all bad....at least i dun have to do it myself....just need to tahan.....and tahan somemore.........

For potential mums out there.....

2009-08-14T22:40:00.003+08:00

How to keep an 11 month old occupied while you are having dinner.

Always have the following items.

1) Mints or candy in a box. So that they can shake and fling across the room. Hopefully it doesn't hit someone on the head.

2) Plastic Bag. It makes a lot of sound and they love it.

3) Wet tissue and tissue paper. They love to pull paper out of the pack and tear it to bits. The good thing is you don't have to clean up the mess if you are eating out.

4) Keys. Just make sure you are eating at a noisy place. Cling clang cling clang....

5) Food would be good too.

6) Menu with lots of pictures. So that they can look at all the colourful pictures and lick the damn thing.

But keep the following away from them.

1) Chopsticks and forks. These small people like to poke themselves with it.

2) Edge of the table. Small people also like to lick the rims.

3) Napkins, coasters, placemats.....they have incredible strength and can drag every from the table onto the floor with one swift movement.

The worse day of the year award

2009-08-13T19:42:00.004+08:00

TODAY SUCKED! SUCKED BIG TIME!!!!!!

I possibly just had the worse day of 2009 today. I woke up with a spinning head. Hungover from too much Chardonnay the night before. Dragged my cellulite fat ass out of bed and did the usual crap. Arrived at Letitia's school and they found an ulcer in her mouth so she was sent home. So home we came.

I was suppose to meet a friend in town to run some errands, thank goodness D was home and l left the girls with him. Almost fell asleep driving to serangoon to pick her up, drove to Bras Brasah did the thing.

To cut the long story short. Nikky aka Ah beng won't sleep. She cried from 6pm to 7.30pm non stop. She vomited once in her cot. Another time on the bedroom floor. Third time while she was sitting in the high chair while we were cleaning up her room. She changed 3 sets of pajamas was covered in puke. Won't stop yelling and screaming....

To make matters worse while I was trying to deal with this creature, Letitia got bitten by mozzies and she started crying. Aiyo! Really just put a gun to my head and shot me dead. She has horrid skin and every time she gets bitten by any insects it will swell to the size of a golf ball. it will become red, hard, inflamed and painful. sigh....she was attacked multiple times and she was wailing.

So out of the creature's room I came running to see what was happening.......at the mean time the creature was still wailing.

Why Why Why Why did I have children!!!!

Pain in the buttock

2009-08-10T22:04:00.003+08:00

Here is a snippet of my life......... Sigh! Where do I even begin....from the start I suppose.

My journey out of freedom into maid slavery started when I was pregnant with my second child. The first maid that we got lasted a grand total of 14 days. She was a strange person, she mumbled to herself all day. She got up at 4am in the morning to pray and chant. It kind of freaked me out. She wore this psycho smile on her face all day and I was actually afriad of her. One evening I walked pass her room and found her bags all packed. I was so afraid that she would run away that night I didn't sleep. But she didn't run away la.....i still haven't figured out why her bags were packed. Maybe she was thinking about running away.

The second maid, was 100 times better. She could cook and clean and look after kids. She was obviously experienced and had 8 years behind her as a maid. Ah! but here is the problem....because she was so experienced..... She could not tolerate any comments about her cooking. She made it personal. I couldn't even give her my input if the food was too salty. She would get offended. She also slept the most, I think she overslept at least 2 times a week. I would get up at 7am and she would still be sleeping. But in all fairness, she was a great help during my confinement after I delivered Danica. This maid was a little petty and had big time attitude. One morning she woke up 6 months into her contract and told me that she wanted to go home. Hmmmm.....ok!

So off to the agency again to search for another maid. I was a bit desperate at this stage I had 2 young children and couldn't manage alone. Just the night feeds was driving insane. So I just took the first thing available. Aiyo! Kill me la.......this was the WORSE maid I have ever had. She couldn't cook, she ate so much food my grocery bill almost doubled. She used so much detergent and household cleaner I was buying detergent all the time!!!! She couldn't even make formula milk. But the ultimate ultimate ultimate was she stole my shampoo, facial care products for her own use, even though I paid for all her toiletries. She requested to make phone calls home all the time. What really pissed me off was she stole "bak kwa" and hid in her room so that only she could eat it. To give you an idea of how much she ate! We finished off 5kg of rice every other week, normally it would last us more than a month. I do not eat carbohydrates so the only people eating rice was Letitia, Danica and the MAID. Finally after 3 months I had enough of cooking dinner for her, so that she could forget to sterilise my daughter's bottles.

This current maid is number 4. She is ok. But she has her idiosyncracies, she only eats instant noodles. That is all she eats. She eats it RAW! UNCOOKED! She has been with me for 6 months and here are some of the things that she has said or did...... makes me wonder why I still allow her to stay in my home.

Examples:

Jam Issues
Me: there is no more jam, why didn't you tell me?
Maid: sir, eat one and he eat alot!
Me: he paid for it he can use it to wash his hair if he wants. why you didn't tell me there is no more jam?
Maid: i was going to tell you tomorrow.

Pork Ribs issue
Maid: there is no more pork ribs.
Me: (walk to the fridge and took out 3 packs of ribs) What is this?
Maid: this is not for pork ribs for soup, it is to fry.
Me: (threw the ribs back into the fridge and took out 2 packs of ribs for frying) What is this?
Maid: ........................................

Instructional issues
Me: (calling the maid over the phone from outside) make dinner we are coming home to eat. Cook Pork with ginger and spring onion. Brocolli & Beef with bean paste and Lady's finger with sambal chilli.
Maid: ok

Came home and saw Pork with ginger and coriander, beef and brocolli in oyster sauce and Lady's finger in bean paste with black pepper.......*__* not a SINGLE dish was done correctly. Aiyo! I am not giving instructions to fly Apollo 13 home from the moon lor. For crying out loud its dinner! I couldn't eat anything.........mind you this happened today.

Window issues
Neighbour from downstairs banging at my door. I opened the door and the woman was screaming at me. Why you pour water out of your window? my house is flooded! I looked at the maid......WHAT DID YOU DO! Go and clean up the neighbour's house now. She washed the windows with a pail of water and the neighbour's windows were open. sigh.............what is wrong with this people!!!!

Car issues
We have a SUV, which is rather tall and most people won't be able to reach the roof of the car unless you stand on a stool. So for about 3 months the roof of my car was not washed. One morning I asked her, " You never bring stool how you wash the roof of the car har?" she replied," I stand on the tyre." ...................off course never wash la....my husband is 6ft 2 inches tall........he sees everything.....including the roof of the SUV.

Falling asleep
She dozes off when we take her out, the moment we sit down to eat she falls asleep. She falls asleep the moment she gets into the car. She falls asleep when playing with the baby. She falls asleep in the toilet ( I suspect) because she hides in the toilet for about 15 minutes everyday in the afternoon without fail. She falls asleep when when I am looking at her. She falls asleep when I am not looking at her. So I told her the reason she is so sleepy all the time.......IT'S because she doesn't eat. Just like fire without wood la.............................sigh....what do it do!

kuah kuah kuah.....now do you envy me????

Life is a Pie

2009-07-29T22:16:00.004+08:00

As a dear friend so appropriately phrased it my "sojourn to seek the meaning of her existence" has ended and I am now back in reality. I didn't find the answer to the meaning of my existence but I manage to see the world from other people's eyes and through them I also see myself.

As I went about the last 4 days I realised that I so missed the mobility and the amount of things I can accomplish in such a short amount of time. At the same time I was constantly worrying about things at home. One thing that put everything into perspective for me was what the foot reflexologist said to me. " I wish I had children when I was younger, I am really lonely now, but what can I do......it was a decision I made not to have children and I am paying the price now." as I walked away I couldn't help think about what she had said. She is so right! It's a decision that you make. Whether to have or not to have children and since I have decided to have children I will have to learn that no matter what I did nothing is going to change the fact that I will forever be defined as a Mother. It will always be a part of my identity and it doesn't mean that it should be my only identity.

Being selfish is not always a bad thing because being too selfless can sometimes backfire. How true! This was what a friend said to me over the phone. And all off a sudden all the guilt I felt for leaving my children and husband behind disappeared. I mean I wasn't running away from home for good neither am I endangering their life's by taking a 4 day break. Hack why should I feel bad about wanting to spend time alone. Time to roam the streets, watch a movie, have wine with friends and have things done when I want it to be done.

I may never find the answers I am looking for but at the end of the day I have a loving husband that adores me, 2 beautiful children and a bunch of really great friends that has been with me almost all my life. As my better half would say "there is technically nothing wrong with your life" and he is right. But there isn't a need for reasons or rationale or justification for the way I feel.

To me life is a pie, some people are sweet cherry pies, cinnamon apple pie, some are savoury chicken pies or shepherds pie. Some people's pies are cut in quarters, some are cut into 8 slices and some are uncut. The more you cut your pie the more richly complex your life will be, not necessarily better though. With each slice you share a part of you with someone else and in return you become a part of someones pie. Sometimes you have slices missing from your pie cos someone ate a slice and you never got it replaced......other have evenly cut pies while some have strangely cut pies.........hmmm....little simplistic but you get my drift.....

So what pie am I????

Figuring it out

2009-07-20T21:56:00.003+08:00

In about a week from now, I will be going on a journey. A solo journey to rejuvenate myself. I will leave all that is dear to me heart and embark on a journey of discovery. Hoping to find that whatever I was looking was right next to me all these while.

I have been thinking the last few days.

I do not really have a problem with my existence, I am very comfortable in my skin and I believe that I have not lead an ordinary and will have an extraordinary life. But rather I have a burning desire to figure out the purpose of the existence of the entire human race. A bit bizarre!

Some people say that I complicate things but I think, in true fact, I am trying to simplify things. Life is inherently simple. It is Man that have complicated and corrupted it, with our strange need to conquer, catalog, organise, categorise, invent, kill, endanger, abuse and deplete. Before I deviate to another topic completely......all i am trying to figure out is this senseless world that we live in. Look beyond the war, politics, economics, religion and strip it down to it's simplest form. That is what I am talking about......at the end of the day. What does it all come down too? Hmmmm.....because if you strip the Queen of England down to her knickers and left her stranded on island she is going to be no different from the anyone....

No, I am not going all bonkers neither am I thinking of becoming a nun. No way I am giving my bags aways. I think I am at a point in my life where I am so at peace with my being and my state if being that I need some form of transient connection with the rest of the universe. I don't even make sense to myself sometimes, my circular logic brain keeps going round in circles. So it is true that we were put here as a test and to be a living testament, as a transient guest that will eventually depart for a better place? Which pretty much explains why life is big huge gigantic obstacle course, some clear it with speed, accuracy and grace. While some fumble, fall and never get up.

I shall leave my train of thought for the now........................................................

No no No No no....

2009-07-17T14:45:00.005+08:00

I am determined to have a life. One that is full of zest, adventure and new experiences. I am not about to sit on my fat ass all day and watch the world go by. RECLAIM! RECLAIM!

No no no its not about eating in fancy restaurants, its about accumulating and learning from new people, places, sights and smells. Food for the soul is all about things in life that will make you wiser and deeper. I won't want to spend my time on earth just hoarding and buying material things. I want to built a life time of memories that I can bring with me everywhere that I go.

Yes, Louboutins would be nice but what good would Louboutins do if you didn't know Louboutins were!!! that is my point! I want my sum to be complexly rich.

It's kind of hard to put into words how I visualise the end of me. But it has to be without regrets and it's paramount that I have done all I can to make sure I didn't live an existence of NULL. My life has to mean something and it has to have meant something to people. No! I don't want to change the world or save the world from poverty. Rather I need to make sense of the world....this crazy world that we live in.

Sorry for the philosophical entry but sometimes humans need more than just sustenance and love. We as a race have been reduced to literally nothing. The useless pursuits of things that define us are all being looked for in the wrong places and I really wonder if anyone feels the same way as I do.

Yes yes no man is an island and society is to be blamed for everything.

I am a functionalist. I honestly believe that everything has a function or it will cease to exist. Same goes for humans. So what is the function of humans??? or rather the common Joe, people like me and you and millions out there. Do we function and exist to seek and learn or do we exist to function? But what function? that is my quest!! But seek and learn what? How to live within social norms and how to conform to what others do? This is really bugging the hell out of me. But if this is the case than life is really rather pointless. The older I get the more disturbing it has become. No! I don't want to study why people do the things they do and behave the they do. I need the simple answer to human existence!

Maybe I should pack my bags and go into the remote mountains of Tibet to find the true meaning of life. Or I could trek into the depths of the Himalayas and seek the truth. I doubt I will find anything there because the meaning and truth is what you make it and I seriously think it lies within each and everyone of us.

How I am going to retrieve that I am still trying to figure out...this is my void in life and maybe the answer is flux! constant change and new experiences. Maybe its my inquisitive nature that is always looking for answers to questions that have plagued mankind for thousands of years. So if I wasn't so free and kaypoh I won't be thinking about things like that...........

Hmmm.....so if you think have even the slightest clue what I am trying to say here...I say call me and we will have a discourse on how to figure this out. I wished I could have written this better but my state of mind at the moment doesn't really allow me to further organise my thoughts in any other way. I seemed to be having a clog somewhere in my schemata.

I have given it much thought, the existence of a higher being still doesn't answer my question of the basis of human existence and its purpose. Religion so far hasn't offered me the answer, it gives answers to what we should do and where we will go after we are done here. But it some how doesn't tell us why we are here.....hmmm....maybe I missed out a few pages. Maybe its this continuity thing that is common theme, we never really disappear and that the soul lives forever. Maybe the idea of eternity is wat bugs me????

I will leave it for now. I am going to take a break from myself.

Cheers and out!

Brainless

2009-07-04T05:50:00.003+08:00

I don't want to be MEAN. But...there has to be reasons why some people are supermarket cashiers. Yesterday I ran in the one of the dumbest cashiers in the world! She is so stupid I don't think they should even let her go the work anymore.

I had Vermicelli, baby food, pasta sauce, ginger ale, snacks, eggs in my trolley. I queued up, put everything on the belt and walked to the other end of the check out counter to wait for her to finish scanning the items.

As I stood there watch her pack my item...hahahha......I realised that she had put the eggs in the base of the plastic bag......and put 3 cans of soft drinks and 1 bottle of pasta sauce on TOP of the eggs!!!!! WTF!! I looked at her and said "Why are you putting can drinks on my eggs?" She gave me the why are you so anal look, took the cans off the eggs. AND FLUNG THE EGGS ACROSS THE COUNTER!!!

Oxymoronic relations

2009-07-01T15:13:00.003+08:00

I want to give my children up for adoption la. Aiyo! That Nikky-doo is teething and super whinny. Crying all day, refuses to nap, wants to be carried all day and must walk around cannot sit down. My back is sore, my feet are aching, my neck is stiff and I am so darn sleepy.

Miss Pong Pong aka Nikky-doo woke up at 4am this morning screaming....I went into her room and was greeted by the most gut ranching smell. Imagine 4am eyes half closed and the first thing hits you is smelly POO. I almost passed out on the spot lor, had to turn off the air conditioning and open the windows to air her room. 20 minutes later I am back in my bed took me another 30 minutes just to fall alseep from all the excitement.

Holy Molly 6am and Nikky-doo is awake again. Why why why why did I have another child?

Sigh.

But you know what she is just adorable. I can't imagine life without my Nikky-doo her smelly poo and drool. I would gladly do it all over again next life but I will still bitch about it.

As for the other Your Royal Highness Princess Letitia. She refuse to wear a skirt or shorts or anything at all. She was running around in her panties all day. She also decided that she will eat 4 luncheon meat buns for lunch. How can ANYONE eat 4 luncheon meat buns? Even I can't eat 4 luncheon buns! These kids now a days they suddenly develop a brain when they turn 4. Before that you can pretty much get them to do anything and wear anything. But after that they just suddenly wake up one morning and have a mind of their own. Pink goes with green, you have to wear socks with slippers, have to use conditioner if not the hair will get knotted and oh yes apples must be eaten without skin and cut into the shape of an "O".

Sigh.

Even with all her idiosyncrasies I still love my Diva and hope that she will have better sense of colour co-ordination soon.

3 hours in the life of ME

2009-06-30T09:43:00.003+08:00

5.57am
Baby monitor transmits really loud cries of hunger. I looked at my husband and he was dead a as log.

6.07am
I am still in bed. Couldn't move suffering from too much blogging and facebook.

6.09am
Really loud wails of hunger. I rolled my ass off my bed and walked to the kitchen with my eyes closed.

6.17am
Sitting on the floor of my living room and watching my 9mth old baby playing with my mouse.

6.30am
Still feeling like crap. Need to shower and paint my face! Can't leave the house without makeup.

7.00am
Giving Danica her bath and she decides to eat the bath sponge. No not just lick...ermmm....like suck the bath water from the sponge. Yank the darn thing from the hands and she threw herself backwards causing a tsunami in my bathroom.

7.15am
Letitia wake up! time to go to school.

7.30am
Mummy I pee pee in my panties. Wah Lao! Shit like that always happens to me....

7.45am
Letitia have you finished you breakfast! Come and brush your teeth.

7.46am
Letitia where are you!!!! Come and brush your teeth......

7.47am
Letitia!!!!! Where are you???? Come and brush your teeth.

8.00am
In the car. "Mummy how do built house?" "Why fish will die?" "How come birds can fly?"........after about 6 questions I kind of shut down.

8.45am
Back at home. Pong Pong with my maid standing outside my house talking to the neighbour.

9.00am
Pong pong gulp down 200mls of milk and is off to lalalalalala land for her morning nap.

the last 45 mins has been pure bliss! silence.....never thought i would enjoy hearing my own breathing......

Inspirational, Inspiration, Inspired

2009-06-29T23:07:00.003+08:00

Today I am inspired. Someone whom I have never met. I don't even know her name actually...has been reading my blog. I find great joy and comfort in knowing that she found my blog a great help in preparing her for motherhood. Wah! Not in my wildest dreams would have I have imagined that ranting and raving about my mundane life would be appreciated and read even after all these years.

I spent the last 1 hour reading all the entries in my blog. The one thing that dawned on me was that I am so glad I documented so much of my feelings and little incidents of Letitia's mishaps and tantrums. Without this blog most of the memories would have been forgotten.

I kind of miss writing about my mundane life. But with 2 kids, writing is a luxury. So for tonight I am going to indulge and write about my day.

Danica woke up at 5.45am this morning. So it also means I have been awake since 5.45am this morning! It is now 11.20pm. Ha! I have been awake for the last 18 hours. Since today was the first day of the school term it was a mad rush. I had to feed Danica her milk, bathe myself, give Danica her bath, wake Letitia up, get her ready for school. Drive her to school and spent the next 45 mins running around her school like a headless chicken.

Aiyo! This H1N1 thing is a PAIN! Must submit what travel declaration form and must check temperature and must queue up in the holding area. It was complete chaos. So to the Principal of my daughter's kindergarten if you happen to read this........this is what you should do~!~ Number the stations! 1 2 3 4 5....so that students and parents will know that they have to go to station 1 and so on.....not put up signs that says contacted and not contacted and travelled to infected countries and screening and not screened and holding area...bla bla bla....Hello! these kids are like 3 years old. Some of them don't even know what their full name is and you expect them to read signs that says "TRAVELLED TO INFECTED COUNTRIES" I am starting to wonder if I should change kindy for Letitia cos her Principal doesn't seem to be very bright.

I got home 1 hour later and Danica was screaming at the top of her tiny lungs because she is looking for me....sigh....my babysitter and maid were looking rather lost when i walked in the door....i put her to nap by stuffing the pacifier into her mouth. Okay! What next...yes grocery shopping. Did a supermarket run had to buy diaper and food. Didn't make it home in time had to go and get Letitia from school directly from the supermarket. OH CRAP! forgot to ask the maid to cook lunch for Letitia. uuurggghhhh....called home and asked my maid to cook lunch for Letitia. Arrived at Letitia's school, got her home and when I walked into my house...... Danica was screaming again. She refused her lunch and as usual the babysitter and my maid were looking clueless because Danica has been crying for me again. Kill me! there is only one me and everyone wants a piece of me. I haven't even hard time to go to the toilet since 6am! But I have already driven in and out of my carpark 5 times. Nope I didn't pee......I had to give Letitia a shower! Sigh...Monday she has gym class and she was all wet and sweaty and itchy all over and she couldn't wait....so i had to give her a shower. After the shower I was going to pee! But Danica started crying again because I haven't carried her since I got home. Aiyo....my bladder was about to exploded.

To sum it up I still manage to bake 30 chocolate chip cookies while the girls were napping.

Run baby run

2009-06-06T13:34:00.002+08:00

Running to destinations unknown.
Running towards solitude.
Running from chaos.
Running running running indefinitely.
Running away from monotony.
Running to break free.
Running from me.
Running.

Talk back Kid!

2009-05-18T22:07:00.002+08:00

Me: Letitia go eat your lunch.

L: I don't want to eat, it doesn't look good and smell good. What you going to do about it?

Me: David do something about your daughter before I smack her!

D: Say sorry to mummy and eat your lunch!

L: Sorry mummy!

Me: Why are you such a naughty girl?

L: I don't think its a problem!

Kill me please! I can't imagine when she is 14. Perhaps this is retribution. Maybe it's just because she is my daughter and a smart alec. Or it could just be that kids have been talking back since the begining of mankind.

Alka Selzer! Get me one! make it a double.

Poker face 4 year old

2009-05-04T14:40:00.002+08:00

Maid: Mdm, Letitia woke up at 2.45am ask me to bring her to the toilet. 4.30am she wake up again ask me ask if Mummy is awake. She say got cough cannot sleep. 6.20am she come to the kitchen again ask if Mummy is awake.

Me: Letitia why did you wake up so many times last night? You can go to the toilet yourself. Stop waking Elok up in the middle of the night.

Letitia: NO! I didn't!

Me: Are you sure?

Letitia: Yes mummy.

Everything else in between

2009-04-28T18:13:00.003+08:00

I am pondering on life.

The meaning of it and its purpose.

D's cousin passed away on Sunday after a long battle with cancer.

He was 34.

When we arrive into this world we do not decide.

Nor when we will depart.

But everything else in between is in your hands.

Have a great life, make it count.

I will live a wonderful life from this day.

When the time comes for me to leave.

Celebrate the good that I have done and the great life that I lived.

Motherhood

2009-04-24T07:46:00.003+08:00

A friend of mine whom I got to know in graduate school a decade ago dropped me a mail yesterday. She asked me about my blog and hopes that I will continue to write. I have been thinking all evening after that mail. I haven't been blogging because I really have nothing much to say these days. hahahahha.....yes I have nothing say.

I don't have the same intense frustrations that I felt when I first became a mother. I sure hope it's because I am getting better at it. No it doesn't get any easier, I suppose I can deal with it better. I have developed really good selective hearing over the years and I also learnt that sometimes babies are best left alone when they cry. They are babies off course they cry and as long as they are not in any life endangering situation....errmm...it's okay to continue eating your dinner or go to toilet. Or maybe I am so use to the lack of sleep from the first child waking up in the middle of the night is half as bad. Still dog tired, still feel like I got hit by a bus in the morning but I deal with it a lot better. It could also be that I have a live in domestic helper now and I don't have to mop the floor anad scrub the toilets.

Savitha my dear friend, this entry is for you. Hope that it will provide you some form of sanctuary as you go about your daily life knowing some where out there a couple of thousand kilometers away in a little island called Singapore, there is someone thinking of you and pretty much going through the same thing. So the next time you are awake at 3am look out your window and maybe I would be looking at the same star too.

Time stood still

2008-12-12T17:55:00.002+08:00

When will my time stand still?

I look at my grandma. Her time stood still in 1980. She has never been on the MRT. Never owned a mobile phone. Don't know what a plasma tv is and never touched a computer not even with a 5 feet pole. The last electronic device she used was a VHS recorder.

I look at my mother and her time stood still in 1990. She manage to catch the mobile and VCD player. But off course struggles with it so much she makes my 3 year old look like a rocket scientist. She cannot comprehend the internet and does not have an email account. She thinks that people who use blue tooth headsets are hearing impaired cos it looks like a hearing aid!!!

When will my time stand still?

Dramatisation of the Birth of Danica Liow

2008-12-05T12:07:00.004+08:00

Danica my precious baby is now 3 months old. Born on 30th August 2008 she was premature weighing only 2.4kg at birth. I went into labour at 34 weeks 6 days and the most common question I got was "Why like that? What happened?"

Okay so to all the concern people out there, here is my take on what happened that fateful day. So here goes....

My husband, D, had been away for the last 3 weeks working overseas and only returned on 29th August 2008 the day before I popped. I was left alone to fend for myself and look after Letitia which is by the way a very huge 3 year old that weighs about 19kg. I had also just gotten a new domestic helper which was clueless. That night D came home, I greeted him at the door and the first thing he said was, " You look like you have engaged!" My belly was kind of hanging really low and I looked like I was about to give birth in my living room.

The next morning (THE MORNING) D was on duty at the Air force open house in Paya Lebar Airbase. He had came home during his break to bring Letitia to see the planes on display and maybe try and get a seat on the Focal 50 free flights. Me being me....bored and very pregnant decided that I wanted to tag along. So off we went....I walked for 2 hours in the hot NOON sun on the runway tarmac. I guess that kind of did it! You know advance incubation like in Science Centre where they hatched eggs under a light.

I came home with contractions and a shooting pain down my spine. No! I didn't go to the hospital. I took a nap and went for dinner in a Sichuan restaurant that evening. When I finally got home at I was in so much pain I could hardly walk. I called the Obs and she told me to meet in the labour ward. Off course me being me again.......took a shower, washed my hair and had a coke before I left the house. I arrived at the hospital at 10pm. The Doctor came and said," Your contractions are 4 minutes apart and you have started to dilate. Oh! You are the breech case!"

Scramble Scramble Scramble...all the OTs were booked out for surgeries will 3am. Finally they managed to squeeze me in at 10.45pm. The DVT foot pump wasn't working, the epidural was the most painful thing I had every gone through. Everything was done in a such a hurry, they had punctured my spine to administer the epidural even before I was numb....I almost past out and still got scolding for moving ! At 11.15pm on 30th Aug 2008, Danica Liow was born via c-section. She had 1 foot in my cervix, the other foot bent (like a Tree pose) and umbilical cord round her neck. They had to pull her so hard both her calves were bruised. The first thing she did when she came out......No not scream and cry......she graped the surgeon's scissors with her hands. Go figure!

28 Weeks

2008-07-13T16:30:00.003+08:00

Been through hell the last couple of months.
Survived 16 weeks of morning sickness and nausea.
Moved into our new home.
Went furniture shopping and dealt with some nasty contractors.
Vacationed in Phuket.
Found a domestic helper.
Settled Letitia into her new school.

Now I am 28 weeks along and preparing for the birth of my second child. The preparation is off course anything but smooth sailing. The massage lady that I used when I had Letitia was not willing to travel to my new home. she said "No MRT" so I offered to pay her more and she said "You give birth already than call la" So do I take that as yes she is going to come and give me my post natal massage or should I look for someone else.....hmmmm.......

Not to mention the Agent that I used to find me a confinement nanny...seems to be very distracted. I informed her that I needed a confinement nanny when I was 8 weeks pregnant and until about 3 weeks she had not done anything. So I had to go look for another Agent. What is going on?????

I have been so over whelmed by events and things happening over the last few months, my shopping list is still 2 pages long and it is getting longer everyday. I won't mention names but a chain of drama mama events that included someone running away from home, someone getting stabbed in the finger with a fork, a run away dog and me being pissed off cos I had to deal with so many things even though I was pregnant and suffering.

Hopefully as I enter the last trimester of my pregnancy I will be able to finally get the nursery sorted out and enjoy my last few weeks of sleep.

Mummy or Daddy?

2008-01-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

We have a Sunday routine of going to the petrol station to get our cars washed and petrol topped up for the week. Since we have 2 cars, Letitia can only come with one of us. She is made to decide who she wants to be with as we make a 2 minute drive to the petrol station. Mummy or Daddy? Sounds simple enough.

But I found out through this little exercise that she can't decide who she wants to be with more. She loves us both so much and equally, it's the worst thing for her to chose between Mummy and Daddy! Poor kid! I never thought that something so minuit could be so traumatising for a 2 year old child.

She will stand there and say,"I want Mummy and Daddy!"

Aiyo! But how to explain to her that Mummy needs to drive one car and Daddy needs to drive the other car! To my little precious this 2 minute separation feels like her parents are going through a divorce. Must be so difficult being a kid these days. I never remember having to go through what she has to go through. But it does feel good to know that our child loves us both equally and to know that we are both just as important in her life.

Mummy bring!

2008-01-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

Letitia had a poo poo accident in school today. She pooed in her pants while in school! The poor teacher had to wash her butt, wash her undies and put it into a plastic bag and find her a pair of pants to wear! Aiyo! The conversation between the teacher and me went something like that:

T: Your daughter pass motion! All over her panties!

I: Oh no! How?

T: I washed her. She is wearing a pair of old PE shorts from the office.

I: Letitia why didn't you tell the teacher you needed to go to the toilet?

L: Mummy bring! Teacher not today! (translated to adult langauge: I only want mummy to bring me to the toilet, I don't want the teacher to bring me!)

T: But her poo poo was very nice. Not hard not soft!

I: Errr....okay...thanks.

T: Remember to bring the pants back after you washed it.

I: Okay. Thanks again!

I am sooo glad I am not a pre-school teacher. I don't think I can deal with the poo poo of someone else's kid. But I am eternally grateful to Lin "Lao Shi" for not letting her sit on her poo and washing her up.

33 months and finally potty trained!!!!

2008-01-08T23:15:00.001+08:00

Today is another great day. I achieved another mile stone.

Letitia my 33 month old daughter is finally potty trained. She finally decided TODAY that she wants to pee pee like everyone else in a potty or toilet. The best part of it all! She can tell you when she needs to go! WAH!

All it took was 4 days in school and she is toilet trained. I can already imagine all the money I am going to save from not having to buy diapers! Next step is to get her to drink cows milk from a cup! This formula thing is too much trouble.

Imagine how light my luggage is going to be when we head for Puket during the March school holidays. No diaper to carry no formula milk to carry. I have been waiting for this day for the last 3 years.

Hip hip Hoooray!

DAY 3

2008-01-04T17:21:00.001+08:00

Letitia is feeling a little under the weather today. She is sneezing non stop. Only 3 days into the school term she is already sick. How? She choked during her nap and all her lunch came out. On to the bed, on the pillows, on the blanket and on her BEAR BEAR!

I am suppose to go out tonight to have coffee with friends that I have not met for many many years. How am I suppose to go? My baby is not feeling well.

Anyway the usual wailers in the class are still wailing today....but some of the parents are learning that the longer they stay the worse the kids are going to feel. Today only 3 parents in the class compared to the 5 yesterday. The teachers also locked the door to the classroom so that parents cannot walk in and out of the classroom. I the Stalker Mum who is loitering around the school may be asked to leave very soon.

Thank goodness its the weekend!

DAY 2

2008-01-03T16:16:00.000+08:00

Second day at school today and the WAILERS! in the class are still wailing at full throttle. They are still crying for the entire 2 hours. There are only 10 kids in Letitia's class and at any one time there are at least 5 parents in the classroom. The teachers are so overwhelmed by the screamers they have no time to attend to the non screamers. So Letitia is bored witless and wondering around doing her own thing the entire time. After about 1 hour 15 minutes. She caught a glimpse of me at the small window and her eyes turned red. She ran to the door almost in tears, "Mummy I miss you...I wanna go home!" I took her outside explained to her that the other children are crying and screaming because they are still young. I told her that she was a big girl and that I will be outside waiting for her. She said OK and went back to class.

I would be in full distress mode too if I was stuck in a room with 5 kids screaming at the top of their lungs. I am so proud of her, she handled the situation so well. The situation in the class was so bad the principal had to come and help the 2 teachers. At one point the 5 wailers were blasting off at about 500 decibels even the school cleaner had to go into their class and help control the situation.

Why do they allow parents to walk in and out of the classroom? Why do they let children who are obviously not ready for school go to school? These poor kids were so badly traumatised I think they are going to hate school for the rest of their lives. I hope things get better soon or its going to affect Letitia. The poor child has to be in a room for 2 hours with 5 kids that are emotionally and psychologically no where near being ready for school. I just don't think its right for parents to force their children to go to school.

There was this old man hitting his grand child on the face with a towel saying, "You so useless! You are such an embarrassment! You so useless! Stop crying!" The poor child was standing there crying and crying and crying like his dog just died. He literally had to be lifted of the ground and pushed into the classroom by force. He was kicking and yelling and screaming....aiyo......so sad....how can they do things like that. It's not right! My heart aches when I see things like that happening right in front of my eyes. But what can I do?????

No more cry baby

2008-01-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

Today my baby started school. She took her first steps on a 20 year journey of formal education. A journey to be educated academically and hopefully gain knowledge and wisdom along the way.

As she embarks on this journey I will be with her each step of the way. Holding her hands and guiding her through. I do not wish for her to be First in class. I do not require her to score the highest marks. I want her to enjoy her journey. I want it to to be filled with things that she loves and enjoys. I will do everything within my means to ensure that she will never ever find school a chore. There will be days when she will be made to learn things she does not like or there will be times when she will not fully comprehend what is being taught to her. She will feel discouraged, she will feel bored, she may even be uninterested. It's OK and there is nothing wrong with being bored or uninterested because only will she realise what she is passionate about. At the end of the day, it's people you care about and love that matters most. More importantly its the good that you do in life that will carry you through. All the things that you accumulate or money that you make will never define you as a person.

In my eyes she is already a winner. She did not shed a tear today even when others in her class were screaming the roof down. She was composed, confident, self assured and polite. She played by herself when the teachers were too busy attending to other children. Today I felt like a really proud parent. Proud that all the time, effort and sacrifices that I made has reaped its rewards in the form of a well adjusted, polite and confident child. I hope that as she grows as an individual, I will be a strong enough influence on her so that she can develop spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally and socially into a well rounded person.

So here is to a great first in school and many more to come!

Cambodia

2007-12-26T17:32:00.000+08:00

I went not knowing what to expect. I made it back, barely in one piece. I think everyone should see Angkor Wat at least once in their life.

The poverty among the local people in Siem Reap is appalling. Children roam the streets without shoes and half naked. The sanitation levels are just inhuman and the air so polluted the PSI reading would have registered at least 300. The heat beating down is unbearable. The smell that circulates the air is pungently rancid and nasty. This is not what puzzles me.....I would expect that from years and years of civil war.

Everyday thousands of tourist arrive in bus loads from all over the world. Filling up hotels to full capacities. We paid SGD $140 for our hotel room a night. They charge us USD 20 a day just to enter the Angkor Heritage park. That place is crowded. You can't even take a picture without having a stranger in your frame. We had to hire a car to take us round the park. The fees USD 25 a day. Lunch was the most horrible tasting thing that I have tasted in my life.....fried snake head fish ( taste like a rotten fish ball...mushy, fishy, pasty) cost USD 5. Fried beef USD 5....worst tasting thing I have ever eaten. (it's meat from a buffalo!!!!). All these money pouring in from the thousands of tourist, where is it going? This is what puzzles me....hopefully one day in the near future all the riches and wealth from all the tourist dollar will filter down to the people of Siem Reap.

Although I fell really ill the last 2 days of my trip, I am really glad that I made this journey and have this opportunity to see one of the greatest archaeological finds of our time.

Goodbye heartland, hello ulu land

2007-12-18T14:15:00.000+08:00

We will be moving in a couple of months. Away from the heartland and I am so going to miss the sights, sounds, smell and taste of it.

The "you tiao" or mee rebus for breakfast followed by a walk in the wet market where everything is pungent, slippery and crowded. I am going to miss the wet market's organised mess, its amazing how the chicken stall aunty seems to know everyone and gets everyone order right. And still give the right change!

The numerous coffeeshops just located a stones throw away from each other. Giving us endless choice of food from porridge to western food to noodles and fish head curry. The best part of all its only a 5 mins walk from our flat.

I am going to miss the convenience of having banks and ATMs just steps from my home, not to mention the provision shop that sells everything under the sun. This place is just amazing, we have MacDonald's, KFC, post office, OCBC, POSB, Gaurdian Pharmacy, NTUC, Watsons, 6 bakeries, about 6 coffeshops, Sheng siong supermarket, 7-11, ATMS for most banks, pawn shops, florist, book store, 4D shop, medicine hall, shops that sell party supplies. All these located just 5 minutes from my home.

I am so sad that we are leaving this place...mostly importantly its the first home we ever bought together and our child was born here. We have so many happy memories in this house. It's the only home my child has ever known.

As we get ready to move to our new home, I will always hold dear in my heart this special place that I have spent the last 4 years of my life. A very special place that will never be replaced, my first home in the best heartland suburb ever.

It's a beautiful day

2007-12-13T15:50:00.000+08:00

The sun is out for the first time in about 2 weeks. I never knew that I would miss the sun so much. The last 2 weeks of cold, wet, rainy days are finally over. For today at least, it's bright and cheerful.

I sent a package to a dear friend who is living in Brisbane and she finally got the package today. It had been stuck at the Australian Customs for the last 3 days...errrmm... because I included Chicken Rice Mix in the package. hahahahaha......it's not like I sent her a package of chicken rice. It's pre-packed, vacuum sealed Chicken Rice mix in a box from the supermarket....anyhow...she finally got it today....I am so happy!

Tonight I am going out and I will be meeting 2 friends that I have not seen in 17 years. I hope the weather holds up and stays bright and sunny so as not to dampen my very high spirits.

If only everyday could be filled with so much happiness...but I'll take whenever it comes my way. La dee da deee...........to a great day. One of the best I have had in a long time....

Coughs and chicken wings

2007-12-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

Letitia has been sick for the last 1 week. She has been spitting out my lunches and dinners. Will not eat anything that I cook for the last 7 days. So I have given up and stopped guessing what she will or will not eat. Hopefully when she gets better she will want to eat mummy's cooking again.

Her diet for the last one week consist mainly of junk that I would rather not feed her..... but at least she is willingly to eat junk. Eating junk is better than not eating at all. She'll eat chicken wings and sausages for lunch and waffles with blueberry jam for dinner. If I am lucky she will eat a ham and cheese sandwich for breakfast.

No rice, no poridge! If she even sees anything vaguely resembling grains of rice she will open her mouth really wide and cries till the cow comes home! Until off course mummy dearest me found a solution to this anti-rice protest. KETCHUP! Yes! ketcup! Just add ketchup to the meat, potato, fish fingers or whatever she is eating. Hahahahahah! Brilliant! Did you know that many donkey years ago when ketchup was first invented it was given as medication for coughs and colds! No kidding! Go google it.....and see for yourself.

I have also ran out of yellow looking things to feed her. Ask her what she wants to eat....she will tell you yellow noodles. Okay! Yellow noodles is her equivalent of pasta. Long skinny ones, curvy ones, shell like ones, spiral ones, pencil like ones.....we ate them all this week! We've had it with sauce, in soups, dry with pesto, errmmmmm.......how many ways can you cook pasta. we've ate them all in the last 7 days. I cannot even look at pasta now.

So as we enter the 2nd week of running noses and chesty coughs I HOPE that her taste buds will return to normal. I cannot eat anymore chicken wings or pasta.

Full Circle

2007-11-28T12:07:00.001+08:00

About 25 years ago, I meet a little girl in school and we got along rather well. We hang out in school and after school. As the years went by we went on to the same secondary school, still saw each other around said our hellos and byes. Before I knew it this girl vanished, I didn't know what happened after secondary school. I had no idea which colleague she was in and we kind of lost each other. I thought about this girl once in while as I looked back on life and wondered what she was doing and whether she was okay.

In University I had to attend a Chinese proficiency camp because I had failed my Mandarin at A levels. So unwillingly I dragged my feet to Chinese Camp 1 year late. I didn't want to do it in my freshman year because I was adjusting and not ready. So in my 2nd year I had to face the dreaded 1 month long stay on campus Chinese camp. Call it fate but there she was, this girl, she was there right in front of me, in the same class! So we spend the next one month together and soon after that we lost each other again after we graduated.

12 years on, never in my wildest dream would I imagine that our paths would cross again. I found her through a friend on face book a couple of months ago.....and yesterday I saw her again after 12 years. She is now a woman, a great mother to 2 lovely children and still the same person she was 25 years ago. Sincere, generous, humorous and a great person just to be around. Our daughters who are 6 months apart became best friends immediately. Holding hands and talking to each other like they have known each all their lives.

So WF and IO have come full circle after 25 years. I am glad we have this opportunity to re-connect after all these years and become part of each others lives again. Thank you WF for a great day with the kids yesterday. Letitia and I are looking forward to our next play date.

Recipes for adults now available!!!

2007-11-18T23:49:00.000+08:00

Eat like Letitia, learn how to make it yourself. http://www.letitia-recipes.blogspot.com/

Request for recipes

2007-11-16T14:54:00.001+08:00

After I started blogging my recipes over the last week. I have been getting request to do the same for adult food. A pictorial step by stap guide to making Chicken Rice, Any thing Singaporean, anything that would impress a first date......

I also have been getting calls from other mums while they are grocery shopping asking me "Extra Virgin Olive oil is it?" and "what brand macoroni should i buy?"

Food and children really do bring people together. Hey! But it's great and I am really glad that I have made a difference in someone else's life cos of my cooking. Who would have thought? Ivy Ong dishing out toddler recipes on her blog! Infact I find it really ridiculous myself!

Strange Encounter

2007-11-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

Today I had a strange encounter. I had a MSN conversation with an acquaintance whom I have probably only met a couple of times. This seemingly meaningless conversation we had about nothing made me realise that over the last 1 year, I have gone from the brink of a nervous break down to a person who is fully embracing motherhood with a new found fevour. Maybe its experience that I have gained over time, maybe its finally dawned upon me that I am a mother and I have to do best that I can. Or it could be that I finally realised that its a decision that I made to have a child and stay home to take care of this child. This is my choice and I am only responsible to myself and my child. I have stopped complaining that no one helps me with the chores. I have stopped complaining that no one takes over this huge responsibility of childcare from me. I have stopped bitching about the alienation from everything and everyone that I felt in the initial stages.

I asked myself what's so different. It's the same child, same house, same chores, same everything.

It's a different state of mind. I have embraced my identity as a mother. It is what defines me and I am proud of it. My worth and value as a person was dependent on the job I had, how much money I made and the friends I had. My identity, my entire being and purpose of existence came crashing down overnight with the arrival of a new born. I had to assume a brand new role, something which I had never done before, something that I was not taught to do. I cried, I wept and I struggled.

2 years on and much wiser......(I hope) I look back in retropect, knowing that it was a process that I had to go through and I won't have done it any other way. Cheers to my new found self esteem and my new strength as a woman, mother, wife and individual. Hear me roar!!!!

Having a ball.....cooking up a storm!

2007-11-14T16:55:00.000+08:00

After about 4 days of documenting my culinary skills (err...ok cooking)

I realised that my photograhy sucks.
Taking pictures and cooking at the same time is not as easy as it seems.
I burnt my finger while attempting to balance the camera and laddle with 1 hand.
It's really fun!!!!! I am having a blast in the kitchen.
Why didn't I do this sooner?
People actually want to try my recipes.
When I get my wall oven I will start baking and making deserts.

Recipes

2007-11-11T15:49:00.000+08:00

I have decided that I will document all the self created toddler recipes that I have invented. From today I will be posting the recipe of the lunches that I make everyday for Letitia to eat and will give you guys out there an honest opinion of how easy it was to make and how well received it was by my 2 year old toddler. So stay tuned for daily recipes.

www.letitia-recipes.blogspot.com

This is a very lame and desperate attempt to find something meaningful to do because I am kinda bored! Hopefully one day she will read this and make the same stuff for her kids to eat.

30 months and 60 tubes of desitin

2007-10-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

30 months and 60 tubes of desitin and who knows how many bags of diapers. Letitia still refuses to be toilet trained. No potty! No toilet!

Remove her diaper and she will not pee. Period. She will hold it in for as long as 3 hours without peeing. When she finally needs to go she will scream,"PAMPERS! SHHEEEESHHHEEES!" So on goes the diaper and out comes the pee.

Man! What am I going to do! I have been told that I am stressing her too much and I should just chill. But she is going to school in January and she needs to be trained before that la. So all the mummies out there. HELP!

Wedding and treats!

2007-10-25T15:19:00.000+08:00

The bride and me.
Waiting for the groom to arrive.
Finally got rid of her.
Thought this day would never come.

The tasty treats prepared by moi for the groom.

Wasabi Crackers, Blue cheese on raw bitter gourd, Chilli padi and fresh lime to wash it down.

That's me and hubby drinking our tea.
A very expensive cuppa tea.

My baby giving her Yee Yee a big kiss. In exchange for some dough.

Hubby babysitter and the kid.

Me stuck at the reception table with Sam.
Trying to figure out why people move even though you allocate them table numbers.
And trying to make sense of the guest list. Half the names were spelt wrongly!

Gong Ma and Mimi. Back up babysitting tag team.

Hairy Issues

2007-10-03T23:41:00.000+08:00

I am pissed. Angry. Ticked off. Cheated.

Today I spend 4 hours of my precious life sitting in a chair. Paid $448 to some freaking salon to get my hair permed!

The result! Frizzy! Dry! Fried! Ugly! Messy! Bushy!

Okay. I official just snooped my self.

I am going to scream the salon down tomorrow. I am going to make sure they give me a refund! NO I dun wan them to re-do my hair! It is already bad and they may do more damage! I am ANGRY beyond words. I must say this is really the most IDIOTIC thing I have ever done to myself! THE MOST MORONIC thing! HA and the best part I even had to pay for it!

My waist length lovely long locks were chopped 4 inches today and whatever that is left is a bush of HAY! I don't even know how I am going to go out and face the world! I look like Frankensteins wife! Oh man I punked myself alright this time.

I think I am going to take a really long time to get over this act of STUPIDITY! URRRGGGHHH!

Let's see what they have to say when they see my hair tomorrow. Man why does this have to happen to me! Ya ya ya its just hair...... but it's my hair, 5 years of it! Hair that I have spent hours pain stakingly looking after! And not forgetting the $448. WAH! I am sooooooooooooooo pissed!

Fatigue

2007-09-22T11:59:00.000+08:00

Okay after 20 days of single parenting the fatigue is starting to set in.
But I must say I am getting better at this single parenting thing.
Usually I would have felt like this by the end of the first week.
This time round I survived 3 weeks before feeling like crap.
And to top it off Letitia was sick for almost the entire time.
I had zero support, my mother was in Tibet. I couldn't even off load her for a couple hours.

I am officially exhuasted!

2 more weeks................................BOOOOO HOOOOOO!

Plane Rides are fun!!

2007-09-17T16:08:00.000+08:00

We made there and back. We picked up a couple of viruses along the way too. Letitia is coughing again. We spent the first day home in the Paediatrician's office. Came home with a huge bag of antibiotics and cough syrup.

The plane ride there was fun for Letitia though, she thoroughly enjoyed herself.

Here's a preview of what went on the first 10 minutes. The plane was still on the ground we haven't even taken off yet!

Letitia : Aunty, on TV? (pointing to the screen)
Stewardess No.1 : Not now my dear you have to wait.

Letitia : Aunty, ear phones?
2nd Stewardess No.2 : Not now dear you have to wait.

Letitia : Aunty, toys?
Stewardess No.1 : Ok, I will be back. (Comes back with a Dora soft toy)
Letitia : No back pack?
Stewardess No.1 : Sorry no back pack.

Letitia : Aunty, apple juice?
Stewardess No.2 : Ok, here you go.
Letitia : Thanks.

Letitia : Pressed the call button.
Stewardess No.2 : You pressed the call button mdm?
Me : No. (looking up at the illuminated call button) Sorry it was Letitia.
Me : Letitia don't press the "MAN" ok.
Letitia : I want on light. (turn on and off the lights about 50 times, thought I was in a disco)

Letitia : I want to watch Dora!
Me : Ok! in about 10 minutes ok!
Letitia : Me go walk!
Me : No, you can't go for a walk now. People are trying to get on the plane.
Letitia : Me stand up? See baby? (there was a baby sitting behind us)
Me: Ok.

I really pitied the Ang Moh that sat next to Letitia. Not only was he squashed up in the window seat, he had to put up with her non stop talking for about 2 hours. This trip Letitia learnt how to Sawadee Kaa with her hands. It's hilarious. Even though we spent 2 whole days staring at the 4 walls of the hotel room cos she was sick it was still a great holiday.

Flying Solo

2007-09-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

My child is suffering from mild depression. She misses her Daddy so much she is starting to have nightmares. So I am doing what most mothers would do......I will be taking her to see her Papa in a couple of days time.

I will be flying my baby and me a couple of thousand kilometers to see her daddy. I am actually quite nervous as this will be my first solo flight with a 2 year old child. The last couple of times that we travelled there were always 3 or 4 other adults around. I really hope that I will manage to get there without the entire cabin giving me stares of hatred.

I picked an evening flight so she would have had her nap and eaten dinner. Hopefully she will be less cranky and more co-operative. Her papa will be there to pick us up at the airport. So i just need to get to the airport from home, clear immigration, survive the flight, clear immigration again and retrieve our luggage. Not forgetting that I will need to do all these with a 2 year old child, a stroller and a diaper bag the size of Africa. I was thinking how the hell I am going to manage because I have only 2 hands. I guess I will have to figure it out without losing anything or anyone along the way.

I pray for good weather so that I have two less things to worry about, an umbrella and bumpy plane rides. I pray for good health and strong stomachs against foreign viruses and germs. I pray for strength to go on this journey and return safely home.

Hi-5 Circus Stage Show concert

2007-09-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

The stage all set for a our first concert together.
We bought the $50 tickets,
can you imagine the $90 and $70 tickets were sold out!

A sick Letitia with her over priced binking blopper head band thingy. That made in china plastic thing cost us $15.

Still not quite sure what is going on Letitia about to fall asleep from cough syrup. Seen here with mummy and Jup jup. You don't want to know how much Jup Jup cost.

YEAH! Finally, the show started!

A very excited Letitia singing and dancing to the show.
Clapping and jumping, suddenly she is no longer tired and sleepy.

Oh! Fairy wings! She made her father go buy her these during the show. Cos all the little girls were wearing a pair. I am not even going to start about the how over priced the memorabilia are. Very over priced.

Elephants and Rainbows

2007-09-01T23:42:00.000+08:00

Letitia is obessed with rainbows and elephants! She sees rainbows in every thing. It's amazing where you can find rainbows and sometimes it takes a 2 year child to point out to you that there are rainbows everywhere. You just have to look. Maybe we will all find a pot of gold that the end of our rainbow.

Some examples of rainbows:

Multi coloured layered kueh - "See mama, rainbow! Mmmm yummy, me eat rainbow"

Sriped t-shirt -"Oh mama wear rainbow."

Playdoh -"Look, me make rainbow. Mix about 7 different colours into a ball and pinch into little pieces."

Yesterday morning, two floors up someone was drilling a hole in their wall and was giving me a massive headache. But my 2 year old ran up to me and said," Mama, elelphant?" Haha it was hilarious. She was right it did sound like an elephant. She ran off and came back with her binoculars round her neck trying to find the elephant. We took her to the zoo today to see the Elelphants of Asia Show. Off course she brought her binoculars along, how could she forget! She was going to elephant's house!

2 Birthdays, 1 food poisoning, 1 broken butt and 4 visits to the doctor

2007-08-31T14:20:00.000+08:00

I went to hell and back this week. Hell is far from over though.

I survived 2 birthdays. Hubby Dave's 33rd Birthday and my pap's 62nd birthday with minor glitches here and there. They include 1 MRT and 2 cab rides to get birthday cake with a 2 year child in tow. By myself, me and I and alone. Surprised the cake made it. Suffered from food poisoning, had to be the damn oysters that I ate. Puked till I turned green in the face and needed a jab in the buttock to clear it. Mind you still tending to my 2 year all by myself. She was pretty much left to her own devices with the television as a babysitter as I rolled around all day in pain. I probably made the YUCKiest lunch ever which Letitia refuses to eat. Anyway that's in the past.....

As for the broken butt.......Letitia got so constipated she actually had blood in her stools. I freaked out panicked and off to the doctor I went. Standing in the raining on a Friday evening with a 17kg child trying to get a taxi to mend her bleeding butt. Yes all alone by myself and me and I.

Somewhere between the birthdays and the poisoning and the bleeding stools. Ye ye ye amidst all the very exciting things happening in my life. Letitia caught a really bad cough. Needless to say I haven't slept a wink in about 3 days. She seems to cough only at night. 1.30am and 4.30am are the 2 magic times that she will go into coughing fits. You guessed it we went to the doctor's twice because of this coughing episode and still she is coughing. As if things aren't bad enough she had a fall too, must be too drugged out and kinda lost her balance so now I have one more thing to add to the list. 2 BLEEDING KNEES!

Off course I am having a tension headache from all that has happened.

Bad Bad People

2007-08-17T12:41:00.001+08:00

There are nice people and there are NOT nice people. Let's just say I am about to become related to some people who are not nice.

Arrogant, obnoxious, rude, plastic and full of themselves! Not to mention full of crap! These cheap skates are out to take my family for a ride and there's nothing I can do about it!

I have never ever seem more annoying human beings in my life! And now there is a an entire family of them. Old to young, females and males, educated and uneducated! ALL IDIOTS!

I am upset, my mother is upset... hell even my hubby is upset! Even my baby won't stop crying at the sight of them. She buried her face in my chest! Seemingly wiser than all off us from the onset. She KNEW what conniving people we were with!

Here's why:

Oh the attitude with which they speak! Hello we don't owe you crap! So cut the attitude!
Oh the it's my way and my way only! Hello who do you think you are! Empress Dowager!
Oh the there is no room for negotiation because I am doing you a favour condescending tone of voice! Hello! Why don't you take your fat butt and stuff it!

The lack of politically correctness and the lack of PR skills was appalling. There was enough antagonistic feelings to cause a spontaneous combustion. Let's just say I wish her head would just blow off her fat neck right this instance!

I just hope that I don't have see them again in the near future. Cos this time I may not be able to control myself and slap that old hag silly. Hell I don't even know if I should post this........ but I have too. Who cares about repurcussions when they have already left with nothing but a bad taste in our mouths!

Wedding Bells

2007-08-13T17:09:00.000+08:00

My baby sister is getting married in a couple of months time. I am really happy that she found someone that she loves. I wish her nothing but the best in her new marital life. Hope that she will find the same safety, security, companionship, respect, care, joy and love like I did.

From the bottom of my heart I wish that as she embarks on this journey of marital life she will discover that it is a blessing to have someone by her side. I am not going to get all philosophical!

What I really want to say is "Thank Goodness, she is finally getting married!" and I am keeping my fingers crossed that she will change her mind soon about NOT having children. (obviously for selfish reasons: I dun wan her coming over everyday when she is 65 to play with my grandchildren cos she is bored witless)

Looking forward to getting a really big Ang Bao from your husband on your wedding day....... I will personally guard the keys to door so make sure he brings lots of dough if he wants to get in. This is for making me wake up sooooooo early in the morning. Who in the world gets married at 6am?

Congratulations!

MAIL TIME

2007-08-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

Our local postman, oopss, sorry post lady. She is one sassy lady. She doesn't deliver our mail on a bicycle, not on a tricycle, nope not on a scooter. She delivers our mail in a car that she drives from car park to car park. Every afternoon I will see her sorting out our mail in the boot of her car with a cigarette in her hand.

I can't help but think........She must be very bored.......Sure got nothing else better to do that is why she is delivering mail. Why else would this woman dressed in skin tight Levis jeans and drives a Toyota be doing this?

I suddenly realise that I need a life. I am actually stalking the post lady! Okay not really stalking her, but every time I see her I just can't help but look and observe and wonder what her life is like. She is probably the MOST interesting character in our neighbourhood. Talk about pathetic! So pathetic! Really time to get some action back into my life!

End of care free days.....

2007-07-31T15:38:00.000+08:00

As my time as a stay home mum comes to and end, I am really starting to cherish every moment that I spend with Letitia. I can't help but think what's going to happen to our igloo tent home that we built in the middle of our living room. Is it going to be forgotten? Is it going to be abandoned and turn icy cold because all its occupants have gone away?

What's going to happen to all the fun we have playing dress up with my wigs? Is she going to remember? Will she forget? In the near future when I am at work and frustrated with things I know that I will miss my precious baby and how good she looks in that Afro wig.

How about times we spend staking furniture on top of each other and running around the house with rubber gum boots on?

My life will never be the same without fake pizzas and plastic cakes.

Spraying the corridor wet with a water gun and annoying the neighbours with our laughters, squeals and screams.

I found me self a job

2007-07-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

After 3 years at home I finally found myself a job and I will be going back to work . However, I am more afraid than excited. I am afraid that after 3 years at home away from the world I would have lost touch with the real world. Will I know what's going on? How will my colleagues treat me? Am I going to fit into my new work environment? What if I don't perform? Oh questions and more questions. As I plunge into the unknown the biggest question I have been asking myself is WILL LETITIA BE ABLE TO ADAPT TO CHILDCARE?

I will be removing her from the comforts of her home, where she can play with her toys without having to share and fight with others. A place where she is familiar and safe. Where she can nap on her own comfy bed and watch all the tele that she wants. She will be going to a childcare centre and will have to spend most of her waking hours there. She will be going to the largest child care centre in Singapore. They currently have 210 students enrolled there. With 15 class rooms over 2 levels. Is my baby going to survive? Is she going to be happy?

I am guilt stricken and I don't know if I will ever get over it. I am in a dilemma. Torn between regaining my sanity and staying home with my child. I lie awake a night thinking what if she feels abandoned or what if she doesn't like childcare? Will she be getting the same level of care, nutrition, love and attention she is so used too? Questions and more questions....

By going back to work, our entire domestic situation is going to be chaotic. We are going to have to buy another car. It is not going to be possible for me to take public transportation with a 27 months old child at 7 in the morning. As the childcare centre is located within my work premises she is going to come along with me when I go to work. We will probably need to hire a domestic helper to do all the chores at home and to make dinner every night. I really doubt that I will have the energy to wash, clean and cook after a day's work. The uncertainty and the change that I am going put the family through is enormous. All I can do is hope that the sacrifices that I am about to make by going back to work is going to worth the effort and trauma that it is going to cause to everyone.

So as I embark on the next phase of my life, I realise that every decision that I make affects my precious child and I pray for wisdom and strength to do the right thing. This is a mammoth task for the entire family, we have to change the way we do everything. I can only keep my fingers crossed that this is the right decision.

You can do it!

2007-06-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

I have a friend who just gave birth to twins. Identical baby girls. She has all the support that a new mother would die for. She lives with her mother. Has a live in domestic helper that cooks, washes and cleans. On top of that she has a nanny that takes care of her twin girls 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Okay! Her husband works in some central Asian central (I not sure which one, I think its the Borat one) and only return once every 3 months. But all the support that she has sure makes up for the lack of a husband! All she needs to do is produce milk and feed her babies.

Here's the problem! She has been whining for the last 6 weeks since she popped that she doesn't have milk! Oh dear! But is there really such a thing as no milk! I do understand where she is coming from she does have 2 babies to feed instead of one.

So my dear hang in there! You can do it! Demand equals supply so you have to persevere. Wish you best of luck and success!

I want my body back!

2007-06-25T16:49:00.000+08:00

I went bikini shopping over the weekend and to my horror! My post baby body looks like CRAP! YA! Off course it doesn't help that I am in my mid thirties. I am starting to lose the fight against gravity. I am not producing enough collagen and gone with the wind is my elasticity.

As I stood in the fitting room, staring at my over hanging belly. I wanted to cry! That was before I turned around and saw my OVER HANGING BUTT CHEEKS! Yeeeaaakkkss................ What happened to my perky little bums! I have 2 saggy pieces of meat covered in stretch marks.

I want my old body back! The one that I flaunted in the tiniest of bathing suits, the one that I had about a decade ago. The one that is not covered stretch marks and the one that defies gravity.

Anyway I bought the bikini hoping that I will one day be able to pluck up enough courage to wear it. I did wear it though......under my t-shirt..... and I sat on the bench while Letitia and Dave were splashing around in the pool.

Boo Hoo.......

However.... all is not lost. Over the weekend I saw that many women out there also put their own insecurities aside and were having a good time. So maybe next week I will take the plunge and show the rest of the world my BODY.

Single parenting

2007-06-11T15:14:00.000+08:00

Entering third week of sleep deprivation.
Having perpetual headache.
Eye bags are the size of Africa.
Never seen darker dark eye circles.
Shoulder has frozen up and neck is stiff.

Foul mood swings.
Raging tempers.
In fact I feel menopausal.
Hardly have energy to breathe.
Can't even have a conversation without yelling.

So tired going to collapse and die from exhaustion.
Hope I don't pass out.
Haven't sleep for more more than 3 hours a night for the last 3 weeks.
All alone.
Can't take much more.
Six more days.

NEED TO SLEEP!

Defiance

2007-06-04T23:09:00.000+08:00

Sunday
Grandpa and Grandma: Looking Letitia. We bought you something.
Letitia: Toys!

5 minutes later

Letitia: Walk walk. Outside.
Grandma: Okay, let's go for a walk.
Grandma: Stop running you will fall. Hold my hand.

Letitia covers both ears with her hands, glares at my mother with the corner of her eyes.

Grandma: I buy you toys and take you out for walk. How can you be so rude. I am really sad.
Letitia: NO! GONG GONG PAY! (grandpa paid for the toys not you)

Grandma defeated! Letitia comes running home. "Mummy! Bao Bao!"

My Letitia is back. Back with a vengence!

Monday
Mummy carrying 4 bags of groceries. Panting. Screaming,"Let's go Letitia! The bags are heavy and I can't carry you right now."

Letitia," NO! Bao Bao!"

10 minutes later still standing in the carpark.

Mummy: Letitia let's go. I am leaving with or without you.

Using the bags of groceries I had to push her from behind. With every nudge she walked ONE step. Tears flowings and yelling.

15 minutes later. Finally home. Took me 25 minutes to get from the car to my door.

Where is Papa?

2007-06-02T22:31:00.000+08:00

What do you tell a 2 year old child when she asks where her Papa is? How do you make her understand that he will be gone for the next half a month.

She must have asked me a million times where her Papa is since he left for France last night.

Here is my answer to her:

"Papa has gone to work."
"On a plane plane."
"To a far far away place."
"He will be back in soon."

And her responses will always be, " Papa where? Papa sleeping?"

Birthday Wish

2007-05-31T15:45:00.000+08:00

Today is my birthday and I do not wish for diamonds or gold. Instead I wish that my child would recover and go back to her normal happy chirpy self. She has been sick for the last 5 days. Fevers that run continuously at 39.8 degrees C, hacking coughs through the night on the hour, congested nasal passages and 2 molars erupting at the back of her mouth.

She has been on a liquid diet for the last 5 days, because her gums hurt. She refuses to drink any milk that is warm because it causes pain.

I would give anything in the world for her to recover this instant minute so that she doesn't have to suffer the way she is suffering right now.

3 nights in Bangkok and 3 nights of misery

2007-05-29T14:41:00.000+08:00

22 May 2007
I send Letitia to my parents' home spend a couple of hours with her and got my mother to settle her down for bed. Hubby and I sneaked out to Jalan Kayu for a Teh Tarik and decided that we should go back and check on Letitia before we headed home.

Got home at almost midnight. Couldn't sleep all night. Thinking about my baby.

23 May 2007
Felt like crap. Didn't sleep a wink last night. Got to the budget terminal. CULTURE shock. No not the simplicity of the decor and the lack of shopping. The among of strange people you find in a budget terminal is just shocking. You have bus loads of loud Chinese tourist taking pictures of the runway. Vietnamese brides on their way home accompanied by their not so young husbands. Young really young people in their teens.....wearing shorts, slippers and carrying pillows on board. Honeymooners travelling for the first time together. And off course cheapos......

Arrived in Bangkok. Bloody cab driver took us for a ride. What a great start to my vacation. We were starving so we headed to MK for lunch. After lunch I saw a treat that I couldn't resist, even though I knew that I would probably fall sick from indigestion after eating it. I swallowed one plate of Mango sticky rice. True enough... I had indigestion. My stomach doesn't seem to be able to handle glutinous rice but its just too delicious. So eat first deal with the pain later.

Did the usual MBK walk. But the best bargains of the day was found in Tesco! Yes! The British chain store. They have a branch about 5 mins walk from National stadium BTS stadium. They sell really cheap and decent quality children's' apparel and foot wear. I spent about 1500baht which is about $50 sgd on 2 dresses, a pair of pants, 2 tops and a pair of slip-ons for Letitia. HAPPY!

24 May 2007
Buffet breakfast. OH how I hate them! So much yummy food around. I must have stuffed my face silly cos I felt like a cow after breakfast. Ate about 3 times more than I should have. By the way I cried at breakfast today, cos I called Letitia, I just broke down at the sound of her voice. "Hi! Mummy!" BOOO HOOO..................ridiculous. About 50 stared at me!!!!

36 degrees outside.......Walked from Pathumwan Princess to Siam Discovery Centre, to Siam Center, to Siam Paragon, to Central world, to Big C.......Dying....Decided that we needed to have a session of foot reflexology. Just as I was drifting off into lala land and enjoying my 280 baht massage, a group of about 30 Hong Kongers blasted into the parlour and turned it into a fish market......Crap.....the massage was good but I think the woman was a bit too strong. BECAUSE I HAD BRUISES at the back of right calf and its still there NOW!

Next stop Platinum Mall. Its like Argyle Centre in Hong Kong just more spacious. But they pretty much sell cheap women's clothing. But I got adventurous and decided to trade my perfectly manicured french nails for a machine printed nail art. COST 99 baht. WILL NEVER EVER DO IT AGAIN. looks like crap and takes forever.

Hubby disappeared and went to Pantip Mall. I waited.......

I had the best tasting Korean food for dinner. The Korean restaurant in the hotel that we were staying is supposedly to the best in Bangkok. I don't know much about Korean food but it was sure yummy. The appetisers were so delicious. I ate nothing but appetisers all night long. Oh....It was a buffet.

25 May 2007
Buffet Breakfast again! I don't know how much of this buffet thingy I can take. I was still trying to digest dinner from last night.

Today was phone hunting day. Today was also gastritis day. The tom yam goong and assam fish and chili padi has finally gotten the better of me. I was in pain..........DAMN ACUTE PAIN.

26 May2007
GLAD to be home. BUT...HA.....knowing my ass luck. Letitia got bitten by mossies while she was at my parents. One on her butt check and 2 on her legs. The one on her butt was so inflamed and red her right buttock was significantly bigger than the left. The ones on the legs..............HA..............had become inflamed and blistered. There was a bubble that was the size of pea sticking out of the bite.

That night she decided to give me a welcome home present by vomiting in bed. Milk 240ml and dinner all came out undigested and warm. 2 hours later and Letitia is asleep. I am in the toilet washing bedsheets and blankets. I passed out that night.

27 May 2007
FEVER! 39.6 degrees. Letitia woke with a raging fever. Nothing I did could bring the temperature down. I did everything. DID NOT SLEEP!

28 May 2007
Still having fever! Tantrum! Whine! Cry! Refuses to do anything. Wants to be carried. Everything must be done her way.

29 May 2007
Fever finally gone. What caused the fever? WHO KNOWS! Hopefully I will finally get some sleep tonight. I think its her way of punishing me for leaving her behind and going on a holiday.

Kitchen Pass

2007-05-18T15:07:00.000+08:00

For the first time in almost 2 years I am going on a vacation without my daughter. The thought of flying away for 4 days excites me and at the same time saddens me. As much a I really need a break from it all. I can't help feel that I am a such a horrible mother. I am actually leaving my helpless child that is so dependent on me. Leaving her Alone for 4 whole days to fend for herself in her grandparents 3 storey "castle"! Where she can knock herself out climbing the stairs, run after my parents dog, eat all the rubbish that I won't let her eat and not to mention be spoilt rotten with treats and toys that my parents will probably buy for her.

Okay, I am ridiculous. But the last time I was away from her I cried! I cried the entire journey from Singapore to London. I cried every night for 2 whole weeks. I called my mother 3 times a day just to check on her. Not much of a vacation of you ask me. But that was almost 2 years ago, when she was just 6 months old. She didn't really know what was going on.

I hope I survive my Bangkok holiday without shedding a tear. I know that she will be well taken care off and that she will probably be fine for 4 days. But it's such a sad thing for a 2 year old child to find her mummy gone. It is going to be so heart wrenching for her at bed time when her mama is not not around to tuck her into bed and hold her little hands till she falls asleep.

But wait a minute......I remember a couple of weeks ago when we were in Hong Kong, she refused to come back to our room. She spent every night sleeping with her grandparents.

I am sure she is going to have a blast. I just hope that I have a blast too. So I am going to try and enjoy my 4 days kitchen pass because it only comes once every 2 years.

Under the weather

2007-05-02T18:40:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling a little under the weather the last couple of days. My nose is running and I sprained my shoulder. Not going to dwell on how I sprained my shoulder but you can bet that it was because of a little girl called Letitia.

Today she gave me a really hard time. She fell from the sofa twice today. The first time she rolled off the sofa and landed on the back of her head.

The second time she winded herself because she fell flat on her tummy. The horrible thing is she doesn't seem to remember the pain she felt after about 2 minutes and she jumping on the sofa again.

During dinner she was playing with a toy mobile phone. She was swinging the thing around it landed right into her pumpkin porridge. Oh man! I lost it.

I am still having heart palpitations at the moment.......and what is she doing. She is colouring!

Hair will grow

2007-04-29T19:32:00.000+08:00

About 6 months ago when I first started this blog, one of my major concern was that my baby didn't have hair on the top and front of her head.

There were many over zealous aunties and uncles who all had their two cents worth to say about her hair. Telling me to do the darnest things to my baby's hair. But I had faith that it will grow and I hang in there.

Two years on and I can finally say baby has hair. It is coming out slowly but surely. No brandy, no shaving, no coconut oil nothing.

But I have new concern! Or rather strangers have a new concern. I have coffee shop attendants asking me how come she has so little hair! Hello! Mind you that fellow was a bloke! Can you imagine a middle aged man asking me why my child has so little hair! I just roll my eyes and walk away most of the time.

In supermarkets, I have cashiers telling me that things like," She got very little hair hor?"

Anyway, once again to all you concerned people out there who are wondering why my off spring has very little hair.......... I HAVE FREAKING NO IDEA! But it will grow. It's just hair!

Somethings I really wonder if all these people out there have nothing else better to say... so they just make up something to say for the sake of conversation. But you know the thing about these people, nothing good ever comes out of their mouth. When they have to say something they will criticise and find faults rather than praise or give a compliment.

So WORLD may I present Letitia with pig tails............. who says you need hair!

Wet pants

2007-04-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

Letitia enjoying inflight entertainment on her way back home.

It was a relatively good trip for us, other than Letitia wetting her pants everyday. Because she as running around so much we didn't really have time to check her diaper. So word of caution bring lots of pants. She wet her first pair in the plane ride there while she was seated on her Dad's lap.....ha.... wetting his pants as well.

The second day she wet herself in the cab while she was on my mother's lap....ha... wetting my mother's pants as well.

We got a break on the third day.....it was wet pants free day. Hey! It was her birthday! No wonder she didn't wet her pants.

On the fourth day she wet herself again......this time she didn't include anyone else in the equation. I must say I was relatively lucky not to have been peed on my daughter.

She didn't really liked the food there, she would shake her head violently and say," No no no no no no.... you eat!" It was either too salty or too oily or too whatever.......her royal divaness didn't like what she tasted.

Checking out Donal Duck.

Sore feet, backaches and Dark eye circles

2007-04-27T16:47:00.000+08:00

We made back from Hong Kong barely in one piece. My feet are aching from walking 12 hours a day, my back is sore from carrying a 15kg child and I have really bad dark eye circles from sleep deprivation.

I woke up at 6.00am to finish packing and we finally got to our destination at about 4.00pm. Everyone was exhausted by the time we made our way to Disneyland. Letitia was so exhausted she fell asleep during the fireworks display.

Breakfast at the Disneyland Hotel was good, they had an excellent buffet spread. From your usual bacon and eggs to Japanese soba and even Chinese congee in 4 different flavours. They also have Disney themed plastic plates and cutlery for children. The free shuttle bus that runs like clock work arrives every 2 to 3 mins and takes you from your hotel to the Park within minutes. We got to the Park it was another day of riding on Winnie the Pooh rides and Carousels. Buying Mickey Mouse memorabilia and spending money on nonsense like balloons that we threw away because we couldn't take it along with us.

The Disneyland Hollywood Hotel is a really child friendly hotel. They even provide bed guards in the room to prevent your child from tumbling over in their sleep. They also provide mini bath robes and mini bed room slippers complete with Mickey logos that you can take home at the end of your stay. Even the shower curtains are covered with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Highly recommended for people with young children. But expect to pay!!!!! It's located about 20 mins bus ride from Hong kong International Airport. And about 30 mins cab ride from the city. You can also take the MTR down town.

But the biggest surprise for me was even the puddings that they serve for dessert are cut out into the shape of Mickey's head. Ya! I had a Mickey over load.

Letitia spent her second birthday in a noisy yum cha restaurant somewhere in Hong Kong. One of those you see in the movies where everyone is shouting and you can't Even hear yourself speak.

A mango gelato cake decorated with an elephant made of candy... this darn thing cost me 200HKD. It was quiet tiny. So Happy Birthday my darling!

Life Oh Life

2007-04-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

Dave's Grandma passed away last Monday. They held a 5 day wake for her. It was the largest funeral I have even been too. The funeral occupied the entire void deck. Ah Ma had 10 children, 30 grandchildren and about 20 great grandchildren. It took 4 coaches just to get the immediate family to the crematorium. She was 93 years old.

This made me wonder how life would be like for Letitia when Dave and I are finally gone from this earth. She will be alone! That thought really scared me and kind of put certain things into perspective for me. NO! I am not about to run off and have another baby immediately. But it has gotten me thinking.

Enough of the sad stuff.

My baby will be Two in a couple of days and we are off to Hong Kong Disneyland tomorrow. I pray for a safe flight and good weather. I also pray for a well behaved toddler. She has been having hives the last week because she is allergic to prawns. She broke out in rash that spread throughout her body. It was kind of my fault I feed her something from a seafood platter that we were eating. But how the hell am I suppose to know that she is allergic to prawns!!!! She is okay with crab, so I assumed that she should be okay with prawns too.

Wish me luck! As I go for an adventure of a life time...............

2 years on...

2007-04-04T16:41:00.000+08:00

This time 2 years ago, I weighed about 81kg. Had legs the size of pigs trotter. Was suffering from severe backaches. Had insomnia. I remember tell myself can't wait for the baby to come out. I was in so much physical pain and discomfort I was just lying in bed all day.

A good friend who had just given birth 6 months earlier told me to be careful what I wished for. She said that when baby comes out you will wish that you can put her back inside. I didn't quite understood what she meant than.

2 years on and I am back to my normal weight, no longer suffering from insomnia but the backaches never went away. My baby will be turning TWO in a couple of weeks. I look at her and find it hard to imagine that just not so long ago, she was this helpless little creature that could only cry. She still cries....... hell of a lot but she can now feed herself, pick out her own shoes and run around.

As she becomes more independent with each passing day, I know the day will come when she will no longer need me the way she needs me now. The thought of her being able to take care of herself worries and scares me as much as it delights me. I can't imagine my baby growing up, graduating, bringing home her first boyfriend, moving out and getting married.

At the end of the day I hope that I would have done enough to bring her up well, so that she can be trusted to make the right decisions in life and bear the consequences of her own actions. Dave, however, has a totally different idea of parenting though. He says that he is going to stalk her when she goes out, intimidate her boyfriends and give her curfews till she is 30. I not sure if he was joking when he said all that. He was even entertaining the idea of sending her off to a convent some where in Ireland where the nearest town is about 4 hours drive away.

So as I embark on the next stage of my journey as mother to a toddler, I look back at all the memories and was glad that I was there every step of the way. I wouldn't have given it up for anything in the world. But this doesn't mean that I will do it again anytime soon. Am still trying to harness enough courage to think about having another child. Ya even the thought of having another baby is just too tiring.

CRY BABY

2007-03-30T11:47:00.000+08:00

Today is one of those days where your child cries all day for no apparent reason. Letitia is in the crying MOOD.

She won't leave me alone.....Won't be left alone. She won't let me do anything except sit next to her and attend to her very wish and command.

She cried when I tried to read the newspaper.

She cried when I was reading my email.

She cried when I was taking a shower.

She cried when I was doing the laundry.

She cried when I was making lunch.

She cried everytime she didn't see me.

She cried everytime I didn't asnwer her.

Everytime I wasn't in sight she will call out for me and I had to answer. She refuse to come with me to do my chores and insisted on watching tele on my bed in my room.

She would call out for me every 30 seconds.... I bull shit you not. If I failed to reply her she will cry!!!!! Can you imagine I had to answer her about 78 times will I was trying to hang the laundry.

I finally lost it and screamed back at her........ She cried! Now I am trying to bring my blood pressure down by ignoring her for a while.

Humbled

2007-03-21T13:54:00.000+08:00

I have been brought to my knees by a 88cm tall person. The 15kg person that I carried for 38 weeks and gave birth too. This little mini me... is twice the MONSTER I was at her age! She not only looks like me, she has my personality and she has my temper.

This morning while I was brushing her teeth, I gave her a cup filled with water to hold. She was suppose to rinse her mouth after I was done. BUT SHE EMPTIED THE ENTIRE CUP OF WATER OVER MY HEAD! The best part...... she laughed!

I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. I wanted to scream at her but all I could do was laugh with her. For the record, this is the first time someone has poured anything over my head! I probably would have bashed that some one's face if this would have happened to me 3 years ago. Not to mention the long train of vulgarities that would have flowed from my mouth.

So all I have to say is that motherhood is the most humbling experience a woman can ever possibly go through.

Gummy Gummy

2007-03-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

Took Letitia to the clinic on Monday morning because her gums were red puffy and bleeding. The doctor didn't know what was going on and told me to take her to a dentist. She gave me the number to the pediatric dental clinic in NUH, prescribed some paste which Letitia spits out every time I try to medicate her.

Anyway, I called the clinic and was told that the earliest appointment was more than 2 weeks away. I asked the nurse what I was suppose to do until Letitia sees the dentist. I described to her the situation and she told me that even though the gums was bleeding I still had to brush it. I will only make the situation worst if I didn't brush it, because more germs will get stuck there and make matters worst. I was told to rub the swelling with salt water as well. Okay fine. I'll do just that.

That evening I decided to take Letitia to a private dentist. I was told that it was not serious and it was a localised bacteria infection of the milk canine. What ever that means! In layman terms gums swollen tooth not going to fall out.

Today NUH called saying there was a cancellation and that if I wanted I could see the dentist in the afternoon at 3.00pm. HUH! I told her I wanted to keep the original appointment. We just saw a dentist last night.

She called again in the afternoon and said that she had to move my original appointment another week because the dentist was not available. DUH!

I will wait another 3 weeks if the gums are still swollen I will take her to NUH for a check up.

By the way dental check ups can be rather fun for toddlers. The parent lies on the dentist chair with the child on top and the mirror on a stick thingy that they put into their mouths amazes them more than it scares them. I was rather surprised that Letitia didn't cry. She usually kicks up a fuss everytime she sees the doctor.

Taxis, Sale and broken forehead

2007-03-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

11.50am - Blazing hot sun, Letitia and Me sweating like pigs waiting for a taxi.

12.15pm - Still in the blazing hot sun. No cab in sight. Where the hell are all the cabs?

12.20pm - Called for a taxi. Automated booking system says taxi will be here in 5 mins.

12.25pm - Stupid taxi I booked drives right pass us. I wave frantically. He waves back and drives on...What an idiot!

12.26pm - I call taxi company to try and tell them the damn cab has got the location wrong. I had a sweating 22 mth child with me and I was carrying a diaper bag. Couldn't run after the stupid taxi. Was put on hold.

12.30pm - Another taxi drives pass. I flag it down and left.

12.31pm - Stupid taxi driver calls me on my mobile. I scolded him!

1.00pm - Isetan Scotts. Sale going on about 5000 people in the building. All entrances blocked except the main entrance. Walked round to the front to get in. Went up escalator trying to get to restaurant for lunch.

1.05pm - Cannot figure out how to get to 4th floor where the restaurant is.....asked someone. Person didn't know.

1.10pm - Finally found someone to show me the way to the restaurant. All the entrances and exits were blocked. Accept for this tiny gap on the 4th floor that leads to the restaurants. You needed to James Bond to be able to find the damn thing.

1.15pm - Lunch.

2.00pm - Had to fight about 5000 aunties but I needed to buy something. It was on sale and I was determined to buy it, was not going to suffer the last 2 hours for nothing. As if the situation was not bad enough... Miss Diva complains that her diaper is wet. I had to change her in the middle of the kids department becos I was too tired to fight my way to the changing room. And after that she starts having a itchy fit and my Dad suggested that I cut her dress so that her neck line was not so tight. What kind of suggestion is that? duh! Sometimes i really wonder....? By the way my parents met us there for lunch.

3.00pm - Car Park... 8th floor of Shaw centre. My father forgot where he parked the car! I am still wondering....

Fast forward. .............

9.00pm - Coffeeshop in Jurong. Letitia runs, trips, lands on the floor and cuts her forehead on the utensil trolley of the tim sum store. Blood, screams, cries! Drama! Everyone looking.

9.15pm - At home applying cold compress to head to prevent swelling. Apply antiseptic cream. Put plaster.

9.30pm - Letitia seems to have forgotten the pain. In the bathroom jumping around and kicks the corner of the glass shower screen. Screams, cries, yells.......

10.45pm - Finally the end of a very very long day.

The stars must have been out of cosmic alignment for me today!

Tuesday Adventure

2007-03-13T22:16:00.000+08:00

Oh Boy!

Today started out like any other ordinary Tuesday, same crap different day. But never in my wildest dream would I ever imagine today would turn out to be such eventful day.

Dave, Letitia and me got locked in the master bedroom. Yes! All 3 of us got stuck in my bedroom. Dave had just got home from work and was taking a shower. My parents the permanent residents here were outside watching TV in the living room. Letitia had insisted that she come into our room to get a piece of the action.

As usual half way through she decided that she wanted to go outside to be with her grandparents and started banging at the door. So I opened the door to let her out. But she being her... decided that she didn't want to go out anymore. So she slammed the door shut and BROKE THE LOCK.

Anyway, about 40 mins later...... after a pair of broken pliers and badly twisted fork we managed to dismantle the lock. Thanks goodness my parents were outside. They were the ones that passed us the pliers and fork.

Throughout the entire ordeal Letitia being the kaypoh that she is stuck her nose and finger into everything. She kept saying,"door stuck stuck" it was rather hilarious actually.

The evidence: door with hole

The evidence: one broken door knob and lock

Now I am paraniod that Letitia's room door will get stuck and she will be in room all alone and she will be screaming and crying. I will be outside helpless! I am thinking of removing the door knob and lock from her bedroom door permanently. Ya, I know I am little ridiculous.

House hunting

2007-03-12T14:37:00.000+08:00

Over the weekend we went house hunting. We had no idea what we wanted so we randomly picked a development off Yio Chu Kang Road for viewing. It is about 2 traffic lights from where my parents live.

My parents recently sold their home and are also looking for a smaller place, now that me and my sister are married. They are looking for something about one third the size of their current home.

Low and behold guess who we met while we were house hunting, my parents, they got all excited and started saying things like. " We can buy 2 units in the same block, on the same floor so that Letitia can run from one home to other..."

I froze and momentarily I was actually lost for words. I cannot imagine being neighbours with my parents. They will be in my house all the time. As it is they live in the other end of the world now and they are always in my house. I can't imagine if we were neighbours. They will be in my house the moment they wake up till the time they go to bed.

Yes I know there are advantages living close to your parents. You can off load the baby and go out for a wild night. But so close is too close for comfort. I think 2 traffic lights away is a good distance.

Staying in control

2007-03-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

1) Shouting matches

Me: Letitia let's go to bed.
L: Arrgghhh...
Me: Come on lets go.
L: No no no no no
Me: Say bye bye to your toys and lets go to bed.
L: Boo hoo scream cry boo hoo
Me: Stop it!
L: Throws herself on the floor yelling and screaming
Me: Stop it before I smack you!

45 minutes later

L: Still screaming and yelling... at the same time trying to self induce vomiting.

Winner Letitia 1 Mummy 0

2) Running around shopping malls

Me: Hold my hand.
L: Arrrgggghhhhhh (runs away at lightning speed like a little galloping pony)
Me: Letitia come back here..... you'll get lost (grabbing her by the arm)
L: Throws herself on the floor and shuts her eyes.
Me: Come on lets go.
L: Cries, screams, yells, shouts......
Me: fine do whatever you want!
L: Runs into the crowd without looking back.

Winner Letitia 2 Mummy 0

3) Bringing mobile phones to bed

Me: You can't bring my phone with you to bed. Give back to me.
L: Arrrrgggggghhhhhh..........................NO!
Me: Fine! Now close your eyes and go to sleep.
L: Pat pat!
Me: Okay.. pat pat pat pat....

15 minutes later, Letitia is a sleep, I remove the phone from her hand and run off to the toilet while I am in the middle of my business I hear her screaming.

L: Wei wei wei wei (looking for the phone)
Me: No No. You can't have the phone.
L: Screams, cries, yells, vomits.
Me: Keep quiet and close your eyes
L: Still screaming
Me: Stop it before I smack you! What do you want the phone for?
L: Screams even louder.
Me: SMACK!
L: Cries and looks for her papa
Me: I am telling you one last time keep quiet and go to sleep.
L: Sobs uncontrollably.
Me: SMACK! SMACK!

45 minutes later. Letitia is asleep and I am looking at her butt and rubbing it because I feel bad for smacking her.

Winner Letitia 3 Mummy 0

But I thank God everyday for giving me such a beautiful child.

UNFAIR!

2007-03-05T14:54:00.000+08:00

Letitia will be turning two in about a months time.

Her grandpa, my father, is taking her to Hong Kong Disneyland!

All expense paid!

How unfair is that?

Her grandma, my mother, has already bought her a birthday present! A charmed bracelet!

How unfair is that?

They haven't bought me anything for my birthday in the last 20 years!

Anyway, having said all that. Dave and I will have to cough up our own travel expenses and tag along as porters carrying all the crap that Princess Letitia requires during her vacation. Diapers, milk, water, pillow, blanket, medication..... the never ending list...........

But the good news is......I get to off load her for half a day, everday, for 4 days. Ha! Which means I only need to be around during bed time to put her to sleep.

Looking forward to our annual family holiday!

Last year when we went to Phuket, Letitia was only 14 months old. I spent most of time in the hotel. She also didn't have a lot of teeth so I had to bring 3 days worth of baby food along. This time round she has most of her teeth, and I won't have to bring along all that food. I know it is going to be better already.

Choices

2007-03-02T15:12:00.000+08:00

What kind of world do we live in? I was doing some research on pre-school programs that I can send Letitia.... But to my horror I am totally confused and horrified at the range of programs available for toddlers.

I have no idea what is going on out there. There are enrichment programs for almost everything under the blooming sun. Brain Stimulation where they teach 7 month old babies to read and talk. Programs that teach encyclopedic knowledge. Whatever that is?!

I mean this is ridiculous. I am determined to give my child a childhood that she can speak fondly off when she grows up. As much as I want her to have a head start in life I am not about to enrol her in programs that cost thousands of dollars so that she can read the alphabet earlier.

I remind her everyday that I all want is for her to be happy. For her to grow up a responsible and kind person. And that she may excel in anything that she chooses to do and be the successful in her own way by being at peace with herself. I don't want my child to grow up thinking that her value and success in life is measured by the amount of money she makes and by the car that she drives.

So Letitia baby. Enjoy life! Mummy will do whatever it takes to give you the best that money cannot buy.......A happy family that you can always count on and a loving home filled with warmth. Most importantly space and time to explore the world from the safety of my arms so that you can learn from your own experiences and make sense of this crazy world that we live in.

Airy Fairy FAT Fairy

2007-02-28T16:09:00.000+08:00

Presenting Fairy Hair

Fairy & Her Wand

Fairy in Her Shoes

Our Chinese New Year

2007-02-22T16:46:00.000+08:00

Check out my Chinese New Year Table setting... Not bad for first attempt!

We had a really good new year this year, other than eating too much junk. way too much rubbish...... but the really fun part was seeing my little one enjoying herself. She refused to let me throw away the box for the mandarin oranges. Because she says that it is a car and insisted on sitting in it. It eventually fell apart!

My baby in her CAR! vroomm.....

I also managed to get her in a dress 2 days in a row. Not an easy task, she is a super tomboy. I had to convince her that she looked really nice by taking a picture of her and showing it to her.

Oh yes and today I finally washed Bear Bear. My daughter's smelly companion. I had to get my parents to bring her toy shopping. She is still not home yet. Bear Bear is wet and hanging upside down at the moment. Hopefully she will not cry when she gets home and see her bear bear being hung upside down on a bamboo pole.

Sick sick sick

2007-02-16T21:14:00.000+08:00

I am sick. Letitia is sick. Both of us have runny noses. I have no idea who gave it to who but I am miserable.

I am sleepy all the time and I have to deal with a whiny kid that wants to be carried 24-7.

Anyway Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone! Have a prosperous new year and don't eat too much pineapple tarts and bak kua. It will ALL go to your BUTT and THIGHS.

I am just hoping that we will both recover in time for the big day of visiting.

Valentine's Day

2007-02-13T16:36:00.000+08:00

I personally don't believe in spending an arm and a leg on flowers and paying through your nose for dinners in restaurants. But I must say that all the "love" in the air is starting to rub off on me. The big bonus! This year I received my first piece of Tiffany jewelry! You have to start some where right! Every girl loves her bling bling.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish my Hubby, Dave, a happy Valentine's Day and thank you for being the BEST!

Update

2007-02-08T23:31:00.000+08:00

We made it through the dinner and home in one piece. Everything went smoothly except for one thing. Letitia doesn't like my sister's husband! Every time she looks at him or if he looks at her she will get really upset. She didn't smile throughout dinner and she was not her usual self. She refuses to acknowledge even my sister. She usually clings on to her "yi yi" whenever "yi yi" was around.

You see its a really long story... but in a nutshell my brother-in-law is seldom around. So my daughter has only seen him thrice in her entire life. Anyway she was so upset at the sight of his face she'd rather sit there and sulk. Endless attempts by my parents to cheer her up failed miserably......

I have no idea why she doesn't like him, but you know how young children can sense a person's aura and I guess she just didn't like his for whatever reason.

Birthday Birthday and More Birthday

2007-02-08T15:37:00.000+08:00

Last Sunday we went to Jayden's 1st birthday party some where in Changi. It was held in a rented bungalow along some road called Horseturn Road or something along those lines. After stuffing our faces with buffet food and chasing balloons around for about 3 hours Letitia started to look like a panda. She had missed her afternoon nap for this birthday party.

The strange thing is birthday parties are like wedding dinners. Everyone has the same do.....balloons...buffet...parents friends (cos babies don't have friends). Even the conversations don't change. So how? When you having another one........and at EVERY party that you go to you will ALWAYS meet someone....... who thinks that 3 kids is the magic number.

I met the mother of a 4 month old baby and she went off saying that she wanted at least 3 children and she is hoping to try for another one by March. I just stared at her and went,"Huh?" She continued,"If the mat's can do it, so can we....." Okay I never really thought of it that way. DUH!

Today is my mother's birthday and the entire family is going to so swanky restaurant in town to celebrate her big day. Happy Birthday Mom! Yes! Nice restaurants and 21 month old toddlers don't quite go together. So lets hope that Letitia decides to behave and not have a screaming fit or vomiting session because she doesn't want to sit at the table.

Nightmares

2007-02-01T15:29:00.000+08:00

Letitia is a TV addict! She watches TV the moment she opens her eyes till the time she goes to bed. But the only program she watches is Hi-5. She has an enitre collection of Hi-5 VCDs. She watches each disc about twice a day.

Now here is the damn problem...... she watches soooooooo much Hi-5 she started to have nightmares about it. She will wake up screaming and sobbing ,"Hi-5 Hi-5 Hi-5"

Aiyo what I am suppose to do.... the logical thing for me to do is to stop her from watching anymore of that crap but HOW? That's all she wants. She cries even more if I don't let her watch the damn thing.

Growing Up

2007-02-01T14:33:00.000+08:00

I have to admit my baby is not a baby anymore. As much as I hate to admit it she is growing up really fast. She is ridiculously hilarious , with her dressing up with fake plastic jewelry and cooking on her little kitchen set. Her non stop request for me to sit down and draw and scribble nonsense on her drawing block.

I know I am going to miss all these one day when she finally decides that she doesn't want to spent time with her "mamma" anymore. So I look forward to each day and enjoy every moment of time spent with my little angel till such a time comes when she thinks that I am uncool.

So here I am trying to document moments of our life together and hope that I was the best mother possible to her. Playing make believe rain at home with little umbrellas and eating fake fruits from her collection of platic toys. Taking afternoon naps together and going for walks in the afternoon.

Steps to Autonomy

2007-01-24T18:37:00.000+08:00

Letitia has started to insist that she feeds herself. But that is not the real problem. She insist on feedig herself with shoes on! Can you imagine I have put shoes and socks on her before I can get her to eat.

Off course she also refuses to eat unless she is seated in front of the tele. I also have to entertain request for VCD changes during the meal.

"Change! Change!" pointing to the screen.

I really have no idea how to deal with this other than to go along with it..... at least she is eating. My parents think that I am crazy, allowing her to get away with it. But I say at least she knows what she wants. My baby and me, we have this thing going.... I give her what she wants, she'll give me what I want . So far it has been working really well. So why fix something if it ain't broken.

Sambal Prawn

2007-01-21T14:19:00.000+08:00

We went to another one of those full month party thingies again yesterday. There was the usual buffet and babies galore. Kids running wild. bla bla bla.....

But the shocker of the day! The proud daddy of the new born baby came by our table and sat down. Trying to make small talk I politely said,"So now your family is complete! One boy and one girl! Wao! Now you can really stop."

His reply," We are trying for another one."

I almost choked on the sambal prawn.

He went on to say,"It's a blessing you know, to be able to have children."

Still trying to recover from the choking. I mumbled,"That's nice...." Trying not to make eye contact because I knew what was coming. "So when you having another one?" he asked. Me and my bloody big mouth. Should have just kept it shut! Stuffing the 4th prawn prawn into my mouth I replied, "Er.....Never....."

Thank goodness his phone rang and he had to answer it.

Nagging Cow

2007-01-19T22:58:00.000+08:00

Motherhood has turned me into a nagging cow. Everything I say I have to repeat about 46 times before I get a response or before it gets done. Most of the time I just resort to shouting after about the 5th attempt. I remember I use to think that my mother was such a nag. She would go on and on and on all day. I also remember very vividly that I told myself about 20 years ago that I would never ever be like her.

Strange but true, I am starting to morph into my mother. A nagging cow. On and on and on all day. Letitia pick up your toys, Letitia time to sleep, Letitia finish your milk, Letitia where are you, Letitia come here, Letitia time to bathe, Letitia stop crying, Letitia take your shoe out of your mouth, Letitia lets go, Letitia stay away from the fan........... honestly I am starting to hate myself.

I think all children have this built in shut down mode the moment their mothers open their mouth. From about the age of 20 months it automatically gets activated, the selective hearing and ignoring your mother mode. Only time that they respond is when they get shouted at or is told repeatedly the same thing. I cannot imagine having to go through another 30 years of this.

Thanks to my little monster I have morphed into a my worst nightmare.The ultra unglam woman who runs and scream at her kids in public with a jelly belly, bad hair, and ugly shoes. Oh I just want to die!

NOT Disco fever

2007-01-16T21:23:00.000+08:00

The little one is sick again! Fever that comes and goes. As usual we also cannot find the cause of the fever. Throat looks fine, ears look fine, lungs sound fine............ Sometimes other than peace of mind I have no idea why i pay good money to doctors who cannot tell me what is wrong with my child.

Anyway, it started last night. My 24 hr nightmare started when my parents took her out and returned 30 minutes later saying that Letitia has a fever.

I washed her up ( my mother said that fever cannot take bath) with a wet towel and send her off to bed. Hoping that fever would subside. By 12 midnight she was burning so I had to wake her up to medicate her. BIG mistake..... she didn't go back to sleep till 2.30am and that was after I screamed at her. She woke up at 8.30am this morning still running a temperature.

By 11.30am she was so sleepy she could hardly keep her eyes open but when I tried to get her to nap she cried and screamed till she vomited. Okay so she won, she didn't go down for a nap till 12.30pm.

3pm. Fever again. 6.30pm Fever out of control..... thermometer was reading 38.8 degrees. Off we went to doctor with sick child and grand parents in tow. 4 adults..... it took 4 adults to take a 20 month child to the clinic.

"No no no no no" BIG BIG frown on face and tears rolling down her face. This was her reaction when it was her turn. She was dragged into the doctor's office screaming and yelling. She was hysterical throughout the entire examination that yielded NO results!

The moral of the story. I should have gone to medical school.

Cardiac Arrest

2007-01-11T15:22:00.000+08:00

Letitia gave me a heart attack yesterday. We went for dinner at Jurong point and throughout dinner she was going going, "Toys Toys Toys...." because she knows that there is a Toys R Us and a Kiddy Palace in Jurong Point. Anyway we survived the dinner and off we went to Toys R Us and Kiddy Palace. After about an hour of looking at toys I turned to her said," Let's go, we have to go to the supermarket." She started squealing and screaming and running in circles in Kiddy Palace. So hubby and I walked away shouting," We are leaving with or without you..." usually she will come running after us... BUT yesterday I turned around and she was not there! GONE! Vanished into thin air. I swear I felt my heart stop beating. I raced round the aisles shouting," Letitia where are you? Mummy can't see you!" Silence! I looked at hubby and asked," Where is she?" He gave me a blank look. "Oh shit!" I said.

Just then this Indian man pointed to this rack of clothes and said," She is inside." I ran over flipped over the clothes on the rack and there she was covering her eyes with her hands and smiling. Wah Lao..... I dragged her out, scooped her up and told her," Don't you ever ever do that again!" and her response," Ha ha ha ha ha..... Boo!"

Can die! I really thought that she got kidnapped and I was never ever going to see her again.

Donation Fatigue

2007-01-10T14:53:00.000+08:00

With the Tsunami funds not being put to use and and the on going NKF saga, I must admit the I am starting to feel really jaded about this whole charity thingy. On top of the weekly bombardment by school kids on flag day, springing at you from every direction from markets to shopping malls to MRT stations to coffeeshops. And the occasional shady individual walking around with plastic laminated letters and pictures of people in old folk's home trying to get you to part with your money. I have seen them at work in all possible permutations. The fun fair tickets, the donations cum lucky draw......etc

Anyway, the finally straw that broke the my camel's back was a couple of days ago when I was in West Mall waiting for Dave. Standing there I was minding my own business when out of no where this 15 year old girl sprung at me a with this plastic tube canister and a clear folder file. She started going on about her "this poor girl has eye cancer and she lost her sight... now she is blind......can I donate some money?"

At that moment I had no idea got into me but I blurted out, " How do I know if this girl will get the money? How do I know if she really exist?" Stunned she replied, "Errrr.....because I am a student?" At that point I realised that its not her fault and she was probably asked to do it by her school to gain some CCA points. I backed off and said, "Sorry, no thanks."

What surprised me was her response to me, " Thank you, have a nice day." And the thing is she was genuine about it. My heart when out to her, I could not help but feel that she has been made a pawn by some organisation in an attempt to raise funds for the charity organisations that they support. Thinking back I did my fair share of funding raising during my school days and all that I got out of it was a certificate of appreciation and rude stares from strangers that treated me like a rat.

Having said all these I must add that I do believe that there are people out there in the world who really need financial assistance. However, the frequency and the methods are sometimes hard for me to swallow. There has to be a better way to collect money for those who genuinely need it. A method where there is transparency and accountabilty and one where the people collecting the funds are empowered with information and knowledge about what they are actually doing.

What a day!

2007-01-07T22:11:00.000+08:00

Today Letitia the little monster above broke our digital video recorder. We usually leave it on the computer table and she is told not to touch it. Ya right! like she would listen. She apparently quietly sometime during the course of the day when we won't aware took the video camera played with it and broke the hinge the holds the LCD screen up. I looked at her and asked if she broke it and she burst into tears. Followed by a really guilty look on her face........ hai.....tsk tsk tsk..... what to do... who ask us to leave things around that is within her reach.

15 minutes later......

I was going to prepare her night feed for her and walked pass table where I was air drying her thermos flask. The last I remembered when dissembled the darn thing only had 3 parts. There was an additional black piece of plastic in the table.... Great she broke the thermos flask as well. The screw on top of the flask that allows you to dispense water by pressing on it..... Ya that part. She some how manage to snap some plastic bit off. Wah lao..... "Letitia............." I screamed. She came running and I held out the piece of plastic in front of her and asked, "Did you break this too?" She looked on the floor and glanced at me with her really large eyes swelling up in tears and nodding........ tsk tsk tsk...... hai ya......my fault again..... who ask me to leave it on a surface within her reach.......

I know its not her fault, but why do kids have to go round breaking things. Can't they touch see smell and put it back in one piece.

On a different note, today mummy went for a Javanese massage. It was in a little shop along River Valley Road. Let's just say it was value for money. If you are looking for cheap and clean this is the place to visit. But don't expect "Spa"tastic service. At $50 an hour its a good and quick get away. But there is one thing that I must recommend to those with a high threshold of pain. It's the Ginger Massage or a Javanese Lulur. They rub your entire body with fresh ginger, flip you over on your tummy cover your back with ginger slices and wrap you up in a towel. OH! the next 30 mins will be longest 30 minutes of your life. The heat generated by the ginger burns you.....BUT in a relaxing warm kind of way. The back feels really good..... you can feel your knots melting away...... but more sensitive areas like your calves may hurt. Think of cutting chili and your finger burning..... but its all over your body. Would I do it again...... maybe.

Conclusion: Try at your own risk not for wimps.
For wimps: Ask them to apply the ginger to your back only.