Strange Encounter

Today I had a strange encounter. I had a MSN conversation with an acquaintance whom I have probably only met a couple of times. This seemingly meaningless conversation we had about nothing made me realise that over the last 1 year, I have gone from the brink of a nervous break down to a person who is fully embracing motherhood with a new found fevour. Maybe its experience that I have gained over time, maybe its finally dawned upon me that I am a mother and I have to do best that I can. Or it could be that I finally realised that its a decision that I made to have a child and stay home to take care of this child. This is my choice and I am only responsible to myself and my child. I have stopped complaining that no one helps me with the chores. I have stopped complaining that no one takes over this huge responsibility of childcare from me. I have stopped bitching about the alienation from everything and everyone that I felt in the initial stages.

I asked myself what's so different. It's the same child, same house, same chores, same everything.

It's a different state of mind. I have embraced my identity as a mother. It is what defines me and I am proud of it. My worth and value as a person was dependent on the job I had, how much money I made and the friends I had. My identity, my entire being and purpose of existence came crashing down overnight with the arrival of a new born. I had to assume a brand new role, something which I had never done before, something that I was not taught to do. I cried, I wept and I struggled.

2 years on and much wiser......(I hope) I look back in retropect, knowing that it was a process that I had to go through and I won't have done it any other way. Cheers to my new found self esteem and my new strength as a woman, mother, wife and individual. Hear me roar!!!!