This time 2 years ago, I weighed about 81kg. Had legs the size of pigs trotter. Was suffering from severe backaches. Had insomnia. I remember tell myself can't wait for the baby to come out. I was in so much physical pain and discomfort I was just lying in bed all day.
A good friend who had just given birth 6 months earlier told me to be careful what I wished for. She said that when baby comes out you will wish that you can put her back inside. I didn't quite understood what she meant than.
2 years on and I am back to my normal weight, no longer suffering from insomnia but the backaches never went away. My baby will be turning TWO in a couple of weeks. I look at her and find it hard to imagine that just not so long ago, she was this helpless little creature that could only cry. She still cries....... hell of a lot but she can now feed herself, pick out her own shoes and run around.
As she becomes more independent with each passing day, I know the day will come when she will no longer need me the way she needs me now. The thought of her being able to take care of herself worries and scares me as much as it delights me. I can't imagine my baby growing up, graduating, bringing home her first boyfriend, moving out and getting married.
At the end of the day I hope that I would have done enough to bring her up well, so that she can be trusted to make the right decisions in life and bear the consequences of her own actions. Dave, however, has a totally different idea of parenting though. He says that he is going to stalk her when she goes out, intimidate her boyfriends and give her curfews till she is 30. I not sure if he was joking when he said all that. He was even entertaining the idea of sending her off to a convent some where in Ireland where the nearest town is about 4 hours drive away.
So as I embark on the next stage of my journey as mother to a toddler, I look back at all the memories and was glad that I was there every step of the way. I wouldn't have given it up for anything in the world. But this doesn't mean that I will do it again anytime soon. Am still trying to harness enough courage to think about having another child. Ya even the thought of having another baby is just too tiring.
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2 comments:
Just as you are getting your body back, everybody bugs you to go through putting another 20 kilos...anyway, letiticia is too cute for me to not want to see you multiply another. Can't wait till my brother's baby comes in Oct then I get some 'free smells'.
aiyo.......you are like my mother and aunties..... always asking me to multiply..... I'll think about it....seriously I will.
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