Sunday, November 26, 2006
I am so so so so so frustrated I could cry.
I am Miss no maternal instincts and no domestic skills but in the last 2 years I have been home bound looking after a brat that has been giving me a really hard time. I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and everything would just go away. I know I am just angry right now saying things that I would probably regret later but..... I am so bloody angry right now.
That naughty girl of mine refuses to eat. The last 2 days has been a war zone during meal times. All I hear is "No NoNo No No No..." evertime the spoon goes near her mouth. Why oh why does this shit have to happen to me? Imagine spending all those time cooking so that the little brat does not have to eat baby food out of a jar or take out food.............and it is not appreciated. I know she is not feeling 100% at the moment with the runny nose and all........ but she still has to eat right!
All I can do each day is pray for strength and patience to carry on. Even the most simple of task is sometimes too difficult to carry out. Sometime I wish I could just crawl into a hole and cry.
Right now even as I am sitting here there is a brat screaming in the background for my attention, "mama... mama... mama...." Oh man where am I going to find the strength to carry on. I am exhausted! Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually broken.
Maybe if I had more help things would be different. I am like a single parent from Mondays through to Fridays. Unfortunately, the only help I will get is if I pay for it. So for the sake of my sanity I should spend like a shit of load of dough and hire a maid to take over everything that I do around the house. But that will give me a whole new set of problems. We don't have the space to accommodate another person. I don't have the time to train someone to do the chores and I don't have the psychic energy to deal with another person. Having a maid is like having another child, you are responsible for the well being of this person and most importantly your well intentions may not be appreciated. Pretty much just like a child! So after careful considerations I think one brat in the house is more than enough.
I think I need a holiday! But I would settle for a couple hours alone, if that is not too much to ask.
But we still took her to a birthday party yesterday in East Coast in the middle of a thunder storm.
There were about 50 people squeezed into this tiny chalet because it was pouring cats and dogs outside. There was hardly any standing room not to mention breathing air. I thought I was going to pass out from the heat and the humidity.
Anyway rain finally stopped and Letitia was tugging my pants going,"Walk walk!"
So off we went to explore the place when she decided that she will run and TRIP and fall flat on her face and CUT her hand...........
Ai yo I tell you there I was standing in near total darkness franctically trying to dust the sand from her and trying to stop her from crying and trying to stop the bleeding and at the same time trying to balance a coconut drink in my other hand. CHAOS!
She was wailing, " Home home home........" So that's the end of the birthday party, at least we got to eat the "Bob the Builder" cake!
You never what know what is going to happen when you have a child. The strangest things happen to you at the the strangest times.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Hello! Aunty! You call people in their 40's with short curly hair Aunty! You don't call women in their 30's Aunty, especially if they have been nice to you!
Here's what happened, I picked up a 20 cents coin and returned it to this school boy, he was about 15 or 16 years old. Full of gratitdue he said "Thank you, Aunty"
I almost wanted to shout at him but I just rolled my eyes, faked a smile and walked away. So much for being nice! I should have kept the 20 cents.
What kind of society do we live in?
Firstly, you don't go around calling everyone Aunty because IT"S not nice! But more importantly they are not related to you!
Secondly "Aunty" should be reserved for matronly, over weight woman who go out in their pyjamas. If you really must use that term, you should restrict it to people who fit the above description.
Finally, I am not an Aunty! The negative conotations attached to this evil word insinuates that I am over the hill, too old to be cool and can only be friends with your mother is just plain RUDE.
I do not see it as a sign of affection or respect, infact I see it as derogatoty and offensive. The next time someone calls me "AUNTY" you can bet your last dollar I am going to give this person a piece of my mind.
Unless that person is less than 10 years old.......
Saturday, November 18, 2006
It started with breakfast in Macdonald's.
Yes yes yes we did the free balloon and the Happy meal that came with a free toy routine.
At lunch my baby had her first sushi and she loved every bite of it. It was hilarious seeing her chow down little pieces of rice wrapped in seaweed.
We also bought Letitia, her very own tricycle.
She didn't want to get into it at first but once she got the hang of it she refused to get out even after we got home.
And to top it all off, her diaper leaked and she wet my bed while taking a nap. So Daddy and Mummy will have no blanket to use tonight.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Today, Letitia and I went for our first playgroup. It was a two hour session a little long for a 18 month old child. She got a bit restless towards the end and kept saying bye bye to everyone. She was bored and she wanted to go home.
She enjoyed the free play session the most.... Pulling almost everything off the shelves, she particularly liked the coloured macaroni. She spent most of time scooping it from one bowl to another.
She wasn't too interested in the singing and the handicraft sessions. I ended up doing all the handicraft myself while she wondered around exploring the place.
I had to sit on the floor for 2 whole hours and that really hurt. My bony ankles and butt were screaming PAIN after 15 mins.
Well I haven't decided if I will send her twice a week, I think structured learning at 18 months is a little unconstructive. Toddlers at this age have relatively short attention spans, they get bored easily, they don't follow instructions very well. They certainly cannot make handicraft. Letitia was sucking on the crayon and the glue bottle most of the time. And most importanly they have not developed skills to play with other children.
Maybe I will wait a couple of months and will enrol her in Jan next year.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
We have gone upstairs and complained countless of times but it never seems to work. Well there is this kid that lives there who is a complete brat. He plays with marbles in the middle of the night. He jumps around the house causing this loud thunderous sound. They shift furniture around in the middle of the night.
Hello? 3am people! You are suppose to be a sleep at 3am. Not doing stuff,especially if you are 5 yrs old. Most night if you walk pass their home and peep into the window you will find the small boy seated on the floor by himself with all the lights off and playing with his stuff......WEIRD.
What are the parents doing? Hello? children are suppose to go to bed at 9pm. Not jump around and make a nuisance of themselves.
When Letitia went for her MMR vaccine a couple of months ago, she broke out in rash. Okay it's normal for some children to have some some adverse reaction. Nothing to be alarmed about. Ayway the rash went away.
So when I took her for her for the prevnar jab, I was told that it usually does not cause any rash. But knowing my luck.........she broke out in rash again. This time the sole of her feet were covered in tiny red bumps and she was scratching it all the time. She woke up like 6 times that night and we had to rub her feet so that she could sleep. The rash went away and we thought thank goodness that was the end of it.
Last week we went for her DTP booster vaccine. Since she already had 3 DTP vaccines and we didn't have any problem with the last 3 thisone was going to be a ride through the park. Oh NO! She broke out in rash again and this time it didn't go away. It spread to her face and hands. So to the doctors office we went and she was found to be allergic to something in all the vaccines. BUT WE DON"T KNOW WHAT.
Hai Ya.... shit like that happpens, I know, BUT WHY always to me la. You see Letitia is not a big fan of oral medication. She screams and chokes if she doesn't manage to spit it out. I've tried everything. Hiding it in the milk, in yogurt, in cereal......everything. She some how manages to taste the thing.
So anyway.... i manage to get the antihistamin down her throat and hope that everything will be fine tomorrow.
Monday, November 13, 2006
To cut a really long story short.
Here is what Letitia puked out about 30mins ago:
200ml of milk
80ml of water
4oz of baby jar food
A HUGE bowl of cereal
That's a lot of puke!!!!
All because she refused to have her finger nails cut and she cried till she vomitted everything she ate since 8am this morning.
The house still smells like puke right now. I used a whole roll of paper toilet. Had to bite my hands to prevent myself from slapping her and had to feed her all over again.
And what do I get in return............. A spoilt brat that is watching Hi-5 right now. Dancing and singing.........
Saturday, November 11, 2006
When we got married and I quit my traveling job, things got a little lonely whenever he was out of town. I occupied myself with stuff ............I didn't really do very much.
Anyway, I decided that I needed a companion. Someone to share my days and someone to keep me occupied. That's when we decided that we will have a baby.
Initially I wondered what I have done to myself. I have no life. I have to home by 9pm so that my princess can get to bed. My phone has stopped ringing, everyone has stopped asking me out. I haven't seen a movie in 2 years. I haven't gone to the latest clubs. I haven't even had a nice dinner in a long time, most meals are gobbled down.
Having said all that, I must say that I am really thankful and really blessed to have such a beautiful child. Someone who loves me unconditionally and someone to snuggle up with whenever I am lonely.
It may not always be smooth sailing and it can be very tiring but I am really glad that I have my baby with me. I can not imagine life without her and I all that I could ever wish for, is for her to be happy and healthy.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
I have always wondered what people meant when they said parenthood is very fulfilling. You see I find it a struggle everyday. From the time I roll my sleepy butt out of bed till I crawl into bed everyday.
I struggle with milk feeds (Letitia is not a big fan of milk), I struggle with baths (trying to get her in and out of the bathroom without her kicking up a fuss is a miracle), I struggle with naps, i struggle with bed time, I struggle when I have to eat out (She has decided that sitting down at a table is not for her), I struggle with issues of discipline, I struggle with the fact that I am responsible for this little being and what she will turn out to be in the future.
I gave it some thought and i finally came to this conclusion that people who say parenthood is very fulfilling fall into into following categories.
The first bunch of people have loads of support, they have live in domestic helpers that cook, clean, wash, mop and tend your child while you take a bath. They have mother in laws who come over everyday and take the child off their hands even if it is for a couple hours. This could translate to the so badly needed manicure or the hair cut that is 6 months over due.
The second bunch of people are weekend parents. They escape the daily chores of raising a child be sending them off to daycare or a nanny. They happily pick them up at the end of work day and send them off to bed. Every weekend they wished they were at work because dealing with a tantrum throwing toddler is worse than facing that back stabbing colleague.
The finally the third group of people, ah the idealistic types. They believe that they sole purpose on earth is to have children. They thrive on the fact that they can and will go on reproducing till they day can no longer do so.
So to all the folks out there that have been asking me when I am going to have another child. I am sorry to tell you that I belong to neither of the above categories. I think one is all that I can handle at least for the time being.
As Dave so nicely and adequately put it " Children like Letitia are the cause of low birth rates......" you would be terrified to if you had Letitia.
Oh Baby, Mummy still loves you, it just that you are not going have any brothers or sisters.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
I was going to write about my horrible day without electricity.....but I got locked out by the spam-prevention robots. Wel if you see this post, it means I have been unlocked.
Back to the day without electricity, well today I survived 6 hours in this humid 32 degrees weather with out electricity. Imagine no air conditioning and tele for 6 wholes stuck with a hyperactive 18 month old toddler.
It was a nightmare! Since there wasn't much to do at home, I decided to venture out of the house at least until the electricity came back on.........
Crisis number One:
Letitia was playing with my mobile phone and decided that she should call my sister in law not once but twice. Oops! How she managed to do that I have no idea. I only found out when she called back later screaming, " Aiyo, your daughter called me and I could hear all the back ground noise..........."
She decided to surf the internet with my phone....... Downloading who knows what. By the time I yanked the phone out of her hands she had already tranferred a couple of thousand bytes.....
Crisis number two:
She refused to eat store bought porridge. She was screaming and yelling violently... Protesting to what I was trying to feed her for lunch. But I must say the porridge tasted quite bad, it was salty and smelled like a pig farm. So I had to eat that.............. and I had to look for something else of her to eat. But this little person still refused to open her mouth because she thought that I was still trying luck with the porky porridge. I had do something fast.... before someone thought that she was being abused. I had to search under almost every table at the coffeeshop to look for a stray cat to pacify her, but luck wasn't on my side today. I couldn't find a single damn cat. Just as I thought she was going to have a melt down, she saw 2 birds hoping around and starting clapping and saying "bird bird bird bird". I stuck the spoon into her mouth and the rest was history. She ate all the lunch.
Crisis number three:
Okay, remember the Murphy theory. Well it started pouring cats and dogs as I was making my way home. As little princess' nap time was up and she was starting to show signs of major distress....... I had to put the plastic rain cover over her stroller. HA! BIG mistake! She screamed at the top of her lungs, with tears rolling down her eyes she yanked the plastic sheet over her head and stuck her head out of the canopy into the rain...........Sigh!
All I have to say is thank goodness the electricity is back on and thank goodness for Hi-5, Dora and Bob the builder. I was miserable without you guys.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I can't imagine being responsible for the lost of a toe because I bought my child a pair of rubber shoes that are so "IT" now. The ugly things that I won't be caught dead in......In fact I contemplated buying her a pair of those yummy coloured rubber shoes since the day she was born. The only thing that held me back was they didn't have her size.
Scary! Scary! Scary! Scary!
When hubby got home today I went straight to him and told him that he will never buy Letitia a pair of those shoes. WHY? IT HAPPENED AGAIN TODAY! I was horrified to read in the papers today that another child got her foot stuck in an escalator. Twice in a week a little to much for me to handle.
I can only imagine what the poor kids went through and I can only imagine the guilt the parents felt. The pain they must felt. The hopelessness they must have felt. While they sat with their feet IN the escalators.
Right now I have this overwhelming urge to ban my baby from escalators until she is 21! Paranoid as I may sound..........at least she will have toes until she is 21. After that she is resposible for her own choice in footwear.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Yes yes yes its time to show off your new born baby to the world and celeberate the new addition to your life. A time where friends and family can get together and go "ga ga" and "goo goo" over this little precious life that has brought you so much happiness.
But I can not help but think there is another dimension to these full month parties. Here's why:
1) It's time to recycle those gift's you got on your child's full month party. Gift's that you never got to use because by the time you got those gifts your child has already out grown the outfits.
2) It's time to show off your own children and show the world what a great job you have done. It's confirmation and recognition of your great parenting skill. You dress the poor child in the cutest but most uncomfortable of outfits, you make the poor kid say hi to everyone and do stupid tricks. For those with chubby babies it's a plus because you are obviously doing something right.
3) It's time for the mothers to check out who has the latest "it" bag, coolest watch and who manage to stay the thinnest. The super mum that has managed to keep it all together. The fat obedient child. Immaculately dressed and groomed and still a fashionista.
4) It's time for the fathers to show the world how involved they are in the upbringing of their child and at the same time bitch about the amount of money they spent on these kids.
5) Lastly, it's time to try and profit from the birth of your child by throwing lavish parties and hope that the cash gifts that you receive will be more than cost of the party.
A rather morbit opinion about a happy occasion. But hey....... this is life and the truth hurts.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Whole family out the door into the car. Drove to Giant Hypermart at IMM.
Circle the carpark for 30 mins trying to find a parking lot. The whole island is in IMM today.
Manage to get lot. Squeezed through thousands of shoppers. Found vegetable peeler. Picked my favourite colour. Happy!
Put vegetable peeler in the basket. Picked up a couple more things. Queued forever at the check out counter.
Whole family back in the car. Got home.
WHERE IS THE VEGETABLE PEELER?
The check out girl at the supermarket forgot to bag it!
Hairy Situation or rather the lack of it. As you might have noticed by now my baby doesn't have a lot of hair especially in front.....
Not that there is anything wrong with that or at least not to me...... BUT it seems to irk most people including strangers.
You see her "hairy situation" has attracted "well intended" remedies from strangers, friends, shopkeepers, sales assitants, the uncle at the local mama store... They all have their sure to work ways of making her hair grow.
A: Try rubbing brandy on her head. My daughter last time also no hair now you see......
B: You have to shave her.... how come you never shave her? All my grandchildren shave already got so much hair......
C: Put coconut oil.........????????? DUH
D: Feed her pumpkin, see my girls so black the hair.........
Well to all the self proclaimed trichologist out there, has it occurred to you that making statements like that IRRITATES ME. How the hell am i suppose to know why she has selective hair growth patterns. Have they all considered that maybe her sparse hair condition is due to GENES.
You see I did try to uncover the mystery of the funny hair line and growth problem by doing some of my own investigations.....I dug out baby pictures of Dave and myself...... GEE and guess what I found out. Letitia has exactly the same hair line has her Dad when he was a baby. After some probing, I found out from the in laws that Hubby didn't have hair till he was like 3 or 4 years old.
So to all you people out there who are overly concerned about my off spring's hair problem. I have this to say to you. IT'S just HAIR and it will GROW! As a matter of fact I find the lack of hair really cute and full of personality......
Friday, November 03, 2006
Call it suicide call it whatever you want but David and I took Letitia on a road trip to Malacca.
Oh ya the causeway, the 3 hour drive to A famosa resort, the yucky toilets along north south high way. We did it!
It was a lot less eventful than I thought it be. see that little girl in the pink bikini that's my baby.
We introduced her to her first Chendol and the famous Chicken Rice balls. But knowing her.... Miss rubbish bin... I eat anything that comes my way. I wasn't surprised that she ate every bit of the rice balls. Not to mention the mud cake, twisties and ice cream that she ate over 2 days.
Actually things where going too well no tantrums, sat in the child seat.....................until the fever and the rash came............ Great!
You see, Dave and I have this theory and its a mighty great one. Children are like Murphy's...... anything that can go wrong will go wrong with them. No matter how perfect everything might seem on the outside.. you can bet your freaking last dollar that it isn't. To further prove my point.............we took Letitia to the Doctor's and they couldn't find anything wrong with her.... or rather the cause of the fever...... they suggested that we collect urine samples for test to make sure that she isn't having some kind of infection. Okay! Great Missy here is not toilet trained! So they gave us a bag with sticky tape on the top and told us to stick the damn thing on her.....collect the pee and rush it back to the Doctor's by 11am the next day. Sounds easy enough! NOT!
I stuck the bag to her and put her diaper back on at 10am the next morning. Low and behold............. Miss Murphy POOP into the urine bag............. Uuurrrgggghhhhhh.
What can I say..... we never made it back to the Doctor's with the urine sample and thank god the fever is gone.
This is dedicated to my baby, Letitia, who is 18 months old.
Oh how she test my patience everyday and at the same time how she brings me so much joy.
All i wish right now is for you to sleep through the night without waking up..........yawn!
Oh yes and for you to stop bashing your face and head against everything in your path! I lost count about 2 months ago, the amount of bruises you have.