poo.pee.tantrums.tears.laughter.going insane.

Monday, August 24, 2009


This entry never got published I do not know why. It has been in my draft box for the last 2 weeks...so here goes....

Okie Dokie...i have several things to say today. Been a bit scattered lately and can't really find time to organise my thoughts. Have so thought running through my head all day.

Ethnic minority. I never would imagine that living in Singapore would I ever feel like an ethnic minority. Nope I ain't talking about going to little India on a sunday or to Geylang Serai during Hari raya. Last week I felt like an ethnic minority in Paragon!!! We took Danica to the doctor in Paragon Medical Centre and the PD that she sees happens to be Indian. So off course most of his clientele were Indians and strangely Ang Mohs. So in a room full of Indians, French, Germans, Japanese...yes Japanese...we were the only Chinese family in the room. oh oh oh there was 1 chinese administrator and another chinese lady who was the Japanese Laison Officer. She was the translator for the Japanese patients. Okay here is what make it hit me so hard......when it was our time, the Malay clerk looked at us and said " Oh Chinese it's your turn!" and she walked ahead of us and went into the Doctor's office and said to him "The Chinese are here." Ermmmm I mean....HELLO! Most people would have miss it completely and not read too much into it....but....anyway.

Next! I had a freak accident a couple of days ago. While taking a shower a big huge fat glob of shower gel flew into my eye. Aiyo! it was the most painful thing ever. Anyway to cut a long story short, I ended up attending one of my best friend's birthday thingy cos I couldn't open my eyes. I am still having a swollen eye and its still red at the moment. A trip to GP diagnosed me with Acute conjunctivitis due to allergies. Kill me la....

Anyway I am sitting here and wanted to refer to yesterdays newspaper for the property listings and my maid actually threw the newspaper away. she throws the newpaper away everyday! really nothing else better to do....never clean my door but can be bothered to bring the newapsper downstairs everyday for recycling. Come to think of it....must be really lazy lor....i told her to go and get it back.....been gone for 10 mins and still not back. sorry got a bit distracted there.

what else happened..hmmm....ah yes. My 4 year old got scolding from me and husband for interrupting our conversation guess what she said, “I am going to call the police to catch you and lock you up in the cage!” WAH! I tell you can vomit blood. 4 years old can say this kind of things. We made her apologise for what she said but she still can talk back. Guess what she said….it’s super classic. “Oh the little pony throw the daddy and mummy out the window already.” She knows how to redirect her feelings of anger and personify through an inanimate object that she was playing with. Uuurggghhhhhh……

Plus that Nikky-doo has started to crawl and her hands are like octopus. Everytime I turn my back she is up to no good. Last night for about 15 minutes when I was in the room trying to sort out some bills all I heard was my husband shouting “No Nikky no..come here nikky! NO! NO! nikky….” And the battle begins!

Have to run its Monday and its school bus driver again.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

i tahan......i tahan....

It just keeps getting better. Today I found dried fish scales stuck to my dishes! Huh? Yes, you heard me right. Fish scales dried and fossilised on my plates. I understand if its traces of food like cheese. But fish scales????? And I have mouldy chilli in my fridge, it had like fluffy white stuff growing all over it....come to think of it...it looked like a pussy willow...you know the CNY plant.

I don't even know what to say. What do you expect me to say.

There are fish scales stuck to my plate from yesterday....or.....why is there dried fish scales on my plate.....or......you FARKING never wash the plate and put it back in the cupboard is it????

I didn't say anything. I just gave her the plate......dunno if she knew if it was fish scales.....maybe she thought it's part of the design of the plate. I give up. Just keep my fingers crossed that my family won't get food poisoning. It's gotten so bad that I will rinse out all the kids dishes with hot water before I put food in it. Worried that she might have put soap on it and forgot to rinse it out.

Oh did I also mention that she doesn't clean the inside of my microwave or my fridge. Imagine my horror one day when i opened the microwave and saw bits of food stuck to the top and side of the walls. Oh the fridge....hahhahaha...she has never cleaned the inside of a fridge before....ahahhahaha......she didn't know it could be cleaned. I had to teach her how to take the shelves out.

And for the last 6 months she has not cleaned my kitchen door. I leaned on it a few days ago and got stuck to the door because it was so greasy...it had become like glue!!!!! WLE! You all know who I am talking about la. She has 4 years experience in Singapore lor, really makes you wonder how other people live?????

Oh oh oh oh oh oh....the Ultimate GROSSSSSSSSSSSS thing!!!! The first few days when she arrived she didn't lift the toilet seat to wash the toilet. I lifted the seat and I almost passed out, it was worse than MRT station toilet okay. I was wondering why my bathroom was reeking of pee and found out that she only use the brush to inside of the bowl........haiz........

Enough whining for the day. Need to go and recharge so that I can face another day of whatever you call it..........its not all bad....at least i dun have to do it myself....just need to tahan.....and tahan somemore.........

Friday, August 14, 2009

For potential mums out there.....

How to keep an 11 month old occupied while you are having dinner.

Always have the following items.

1) Mints or candy in a box. So that they can shake and fling across the room. Hopefully it doesn't hit someone on the head.

2) Plastic Bag. It makes a lot of sound and they love it.

3) Wet tissue and tissue paper. They love to pull paper out of the pack and tear it to bits. The good thing is you don't have to clean up the mess if you are eating out.

4) Keys. Just make sure you are eating at a noisy place. Cling clang cling clang....

5) Food would be good too.

6) Menu with lots of pictures. So that they can look at all the colourful pictures and lick the damn thing.

But keep the following away from them.

1) Chopsticks and forks. These small people like to poke themselves with it.

2) Edge of the table. Small people also like to lick the rims.

3) Napkins, coasters, placemats.....they have incredible strength and can drag every from the table onto the floor with one swift movement.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The worse day of the year award


I possibly just had the worse day of 2009 today. I woke up with a spinning head. Hungover from too much Chardonnay the night before. Dragged my cellulite fat ass out of bed and did the usual crap. Arrived at Letitia's school and they found an ulcer in her mouth so she was sent home. So home we came.

I was suppose to meet a friend in town to run some errands, thank goodness D was home and l left the girls with him. Almost fell asleep driving to serangoon to pick her up, drove to Bras Brasah did the thing.

To cut the long story short. Nikky aka Ah beng won't sleep. She cried from 6pm to 7.30pm non stop. She vomited once in her cot. Another time on the bedroom floor. Third time while she was sitting in the high chair while we were cleaning up her room. She changed 3 sets of pajamas was covered in puke. Won't stop yelling and screaming....

To make matters worse while I was trying to deal with this creature, Letitia got bitten by mozzies and she started crying. Aiyo! Really just put a gun to my head and shot me dead. She has horrid skin and every time she gets bitten by any insects it will swell to the size of a golf ball. it will become red, hard, inflamed and painful. sigh....she was attacked multiple times and she was wailing.

So out of the creature's room I came running to see what was happening.......at the mean time the creature was still wailing.

Why Why Why Why did I have children!!!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Pain in the buttock

Here is a snippet of my life......... Sigh! Where do I even begin....from the start I suppose.

My journey out of freedom into maid slavery started when I was pregnant with my second child. The first maid that we got lasted a grand total of 14 days. She was a strange person, she mumbled to herself all day. She got up at 4am in the morning to pray and chant. It kind of freaked me out. She wore this psycho smile on her face all day and I was actually afriad of her. One evening I walked pass her room and found her bags all packed. I was so afraid that she would run away that night I didn't sleep. But she didn't run away la.....i still haven't figured out why her bags were packed. Maybe she was thinking about running away.

The second maid, was 100 times better. She could cook and clean and look after kids. She was obviously experienced and had 8 years behind her as a maid. Ah! but here is the problem....because she was so experienced..... She could not tolerate any comments about her cooking. She made it personal. I couldn't even give her my input if the food was too salty. She would get offended. She also slept the most, I think she overslept at least 2 times a week. I would get up at 7am and she would still be sleeping. But in all fairness, she was a great help during my confinement after I delivered Danica. This maid was a little petty and had big time attitude. One morning she woke up 6 months into her contract and told me that she wanted to go home. Hmmmm.....ok!

So off to the agency again to search for another maid. I was a bit desperate at this stage I had 2 young children and couldn't manage alone. Just the night feeds was driving insane. So I just took the first thing available. Aiyo! Kill me la.......this was the WORSE maid I have ever had. She couldn't cook, she ate so much food my grocery bill almost doubled. She used so much detergent and household cleaner I was buying detergent all the time!!!! She couldn't even make formula milk. But the ultimate ultimate ultimate was she stole my shampoo, facial care products for her own use, even though I paid for all her toiletries. She requested to make phone calls home all the time. What really pissed me off was she stole "bak kwa" and hid in her room so that only she could eat it. To give you an idea of how much she ate! We finished off 5kg of rice every other week, normally it would last us more than a month. I do not eat carbohydrates so the only people eating rice was Letitia, Danica and the MAID. Finally after 3 months I had enough of cooking dinner for her, so that she could forget to sterilise my daughter's bottles.

This current maid is number 4. She is ok. But she has her idiosyncracies, she only eats instant noodles. That is all she eats. She eats it RAW! UNCOOKED! She has been with me for 6 months and here are some of the things that she has said or did...... makes me wonder why I still allow her to stay in my home.


Jam Issues
Me: there is no more jam, why didn't you tell me?
Maid: sir, eat one and he eat alot!
Me: he paid for it he can use it to wash his hair if he wants. why you didn't tell me there is no more jam?
Maid: i was going to tell you tomorrow.

Pork Ribs issue
Maid: there is no more pork ribs.
Me: (walk to the fridge and took out 3 packs of ribs) What is this?
Maid: this is not for pork ribs for soup, it is to fry.
Me: (threw the ribs back into the fridge and took out 2 packs of ribs for frying) What is this?
Maid: ........................................

Instructional issues
Me: (calling the maid over the phone from outside) make dinner we are coming home to eat. Cook Pork with ginger and spring onion. Brocolli & Beef with bean paste and Lady's finger with sambal chilli.
Maid: ok

Came home and saw Pork with ginger and coriander, beef and brocolli in oyster sauce and Lady's finger in bean paste with black pepper.......*__* not a SINGLE dish was done correctly. Aiyo! I am not giving instructions to fly Apollo 13 home from the moon lor. For crying out loud its dinner! I couldn't eat anything.........mind you this happened today.

Window issues
Neighbour from downstairs banging at my door. I opened the door and the woman was screaming at me. Why you pour water out of your window? my house is flooded! I looked at the maid......WHAT DID YOU DO! Go and clean up the neighbour's house now. She washed the windows with a pail of water and the neighbour's windows were open. sigh.............what is wrong with this people!!!!

Car issues
We have a SUV, which is rather tall and most people won't be able to reach the roof of the car unless you stand on a stool. So for about 3 months the roof of my car was not washed. One morning I asked her, " You never bring stool how you wash the roof of the car har?" she replied," I stand on the tyre." ...................off course never wash la....my husband is 6ft 2 inches tall........he sees everything.....including the roof of the SUV.

Falling asleep
She dozes off when we take her out, the moment we sit down to eat she falls asleep. She falls asleep the moment she gets into the car. She falls asleep when playing with the baby. She falls asleep in the toilet ( I suspect) because she hides in the toilet for about 15 minutes everyday in the afternoon without fail. She falls asleep when when I am looking at her. She falls asleep when I am not looking at her. So I told her the reason she is so sleepy all the time.......IT'S because she doesn't eat. Just like fire without wood la.............................sigh....what do it do!

kuah kuah kuah.....now do you envy me????