Pain in the buttock

Here is a snippet of my life......... Sigh! Where do I even begin....from the start I suppose.

My journey out of freedom into maid slavery started when I was pregnant with my second child. The first maid that we got lasted a grand total of 14 days. She was a strange person, she mumbled to herself all day. She got up at 4am in the morning to pray and chant. It kind of freaked me out. She wore this psycho smile on her face all day and I was actually afriad of her. One evening I walked pass her room and found her bags all packed. I was so afraid that she would run away that night I didn't sleep. But she didn't run away la.....i still haven't figured out why her bags were packed. Maybe she was thinking about running away.

The second maid, was 100 times better. She could cook and clean and look after kids. She was obviously experienced and had 8 years behind her as a maid. Ah! but here is the problem....because she was so experienced..... She could not tolerate any comments about her cooking. She made it personal. I couldn't even give her my input if the food was too salty. She would get offended. She also slept the most, I think she overslept at least 2 times a week. I would get up at 7am and she would still be sleeping. But in all fairness, she was a great help during my confinement after I delivered Danica. This maid was a little petty and had big time attitude. One morning she woke up 6 months into her contract and told me that she wanted to go home. Hmmmm.....ok!

So off to the agency again to search for another maid. I was a bit desperate at this stage I had 2 young children and couldn't manage alone. Just the night feeds was driving insane. So I just took the first thing available. Aiyo! Kill me la.......this was the WORSE maid I have ever had. She couldn't cook, she ate so much food my grocery bill almost doubled. She used so much detergent and household cleaner I was buying detergent all the time!!!! She couldn't even make formula milk. But the ultimate ultimate ultimate was she stole my shampoo, facial care products for her own use, even though I paid for all her toiletries. She requested to make phone calls home all the time. What really pissed me off was she stole "bak kwa" and hid in her room so that only she could eat it. To give you an idea of how much she ate! We finished off 5kg of rice every other week, normally it would last us more than a month. I do not eat carbohydrates so the only people eating rice was Letitia, Danica and the MAID. Finally after 3 months I had enough of cooking dinner for her, so that she could forget to sterilise my daughter's bottles.

This current maid is number 4. She is ok. But she has her idiosyncracies, she only eats instant noodles. That is all she eats. She eats it RAW! UNCOOKED! She has been with me for 6 months and here are some of the things that she has said or did...... makes me wonder why I still allow her to stay in my home.

Examples:

Jam Issues
Me: there is no more jam, why didn't you tell me?
Maid: sir, eat one and he eat alot!
Me: he paid for it he can use it to wash his hair if he wants. why you didn't tell me there is no more jam?
Maid: i was going to tell you tomorrow.

Pork Ribs issue
Maid: there is no more pork ribs.
Me: (walk to the fridge and took out 3 packs of ribs) What is this?
Maid: this is not for pork ribs for soup, it is to fry.
Me: (threw the ribs back into the fridge and took out 2 packs of ribs for frying) What is this?
Maid: ........................................

Instructional issues
Me: (calling the maid over the phone from outside) make dinner we are coming home to eat. Cook Pork with ginger and spring onion. Brocolli & Beef with bean paste and Lady's finger with sambal chilli.
Maid: ok

Came home and saw Pork with ginger and coriander, beef and brocolli in oyster sauce and Lady's finger in bean paste with black pepper.......*__* not a SINGLE dish was done correctly. Aiyo! I am not giving instructions to fly Apollo 13 home from the moon lor. For crying out loud its dinner! I couldn't eat anything.........mind you this happened today.

Window issues
Neighbour from downstairs banging at my door. I opened the door and the woman was screaming at me. Why you pour water out of your window? my house is flooded! I looked at the maid......WHAT DID YOU DO! Go and clean up the neighbour's house now. She washed the windows with a pail of water and the neighbour's windows were open. sigh.............what is wrong with this people!!!!

Car issues
We have a SUV, which is rather tall and most people won't be able to reach the roof of the car unless you stand on a stool. So for about 3 months the roof of my car was not washed. One morning I asked her, " You never bring stool how you wash the roof of the car har?" she replied," I stand on the tyre." ...................off course never wash la....my husband is 6ft 2 inches tall........he sees everything.....including the roof of the SUV.

Falling asleep
She dozes off when we take her out, the moment we sit down to eat she falls asleep. She falls asleep the moment she gets into the car. She falls asleep when playing with the baby. She falls asleep in the toilet ( I suspect) because she hides in the toilet for about 15 minutes everyday in the afternoon without fail. She falls asleep when when I am looking at her. She falls asleep when I am not looking at her. So I told her the reason she is so sleepy all the time.......IT'S because she doesn't eat. Just like fire without wood la.............................sigh....what do it do!

kuah kuah kuah.....now do you envy me????