I really need to get it off my chest....so here goes!
Oh for crying out loud, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it. You don't have have to comment on every post that appears on your news feed. Most of the time people are not really interested in your opinion if it's not nice. So if you disagree with something you see, you should just move on to the next line. But if you really feel the need to say something because you are feeling offended by the content. Please try and say it in a politically correct manner that will not embarrass the writer, especially if the contend wasn't offensive to begin with but it just rubbed you the wrong way. Having said all these, yes you can joke and have fun because people are not stupid. They know when you are are just goofing around and won't take it to heart.
Please keep it short, you are not writing an essay. I've seen comments that are 4 paragraphs long. You know you've written too much when your comments have a little arrow that says "read more". It means your comment got truncated because it would take up too much space on the news feed.
Also you don't have to relate your life story and experiences to the world whenever you read something that is close to your heart. Most people don't give 2 horses arse what you did 5 years ago over and over and over again. Enough already with the "......it happened to me too and you know if you do this, this will happen and this was how i got over it and now i have no regrets cos i am glad that i did that blah blah blah.......on and on and on over and over over again." You relate it once great, but hello! 75 times over the last 12 months????
You have no moral authority over people so save the lectures and speeches. Unless you really mean well, off course you if really meant well you could privately send that person a message.
Somethings are best left unknown. Leave out details that will let the entire world you have no money, poor and cannot afford most things in life.....it's not something you should be bragging about or if you had a fight with your husband. Sigh!
OK off my chest....feeling better.
Have a great weekend. :-)
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Becoming Me
As a teenager I was angry, rebellious and rather annoying. I gave my parents a hard time, teachers rolled their eyes when they saw me and my principal knew my first name and had my parents number on speed dial. I broke every single rule, defied every norm and experimented with everything. Testing boundaries and pushed every limit placed in front of me. Thank goodness I survived and made it into my twenties relatively unharmed. I picked up a few friends along the way that are still my best pals up till today. Rest of the people I met kind of just faded away and got left along the road side as I progressed on with life.
In my 20's I became a little needy and confused about myself. A chain of events left me feeling defeated and dejected with life and I started to wonder if life is just about a series of disappointments. I picked up a couple of great friends along way from the strangest places and till today they are still hanging around. But the low of my 20's made me strong and resilient. I figured out that that if something doesn't kill you, you are good to go again. At the same time I realised something far more important. You receive what you give. If you give out love, good will and effort, you will get in return more love, good will and people's effort. You also attract the nice people if you are nice and if you are just a mean motor mouth shooting off what is on your brain, you will in return attract mean people quick to judge and criticise.
Half way through my thirties. I am now certain who I am, where I am going and what is important to me. I have decided that I am no push over, floor mat and will not tolerate having people in my life that make my feel lousy about myself. It's takes courage to cut people out that you know are no good for you. I take no crap from no one and I also try to give no crap to anyone. If you surround yourself with people and things that you love, you'll find that life is indeed great. Many people live their life from day to day thinking, this is my life and there is nothing I can do about it. There is something you can do about it. One small step at a time. If you don't like the way you are being treated, walk away! You can't change the world and control what comes out of people's mouth but you can choose how you react to them. Instead of getting upset and all worked up you can remove yourself from the situation and subsequently remove them from your world. To all the great friends and people that I have met in my 30's I am truely blessed to have you in my life. As the saying goes what comes round goes round.
What lots of people fail to realise is that when you are happy and content with life, without having to put people down or turn green with envy because someone else has more in life materially, you too will become successful in all aspects of your life. It's an attitude towards life that will translate to everything you do.
Life is a journey and there are many paths and route to choose from, some take the short cut, others take the detour. At the end of the day we all arrive at the same final destination. So are you defined by the good that you have done at the end of your journey.
In my 20's I became a little needy and confused about myself. A chain of events left me feeling defeated and dejected with life and I started to wonder if life is just about a series of disappointments. I picked up a couple of great friends along way from the strangest places and till today they are still hanging around. But the low of my 20's made me strong and resilient. I figured out that that if something doesn't kill you, you are good to go again. At the same time I realised something far more important. You receive what you give. If you give out love, good will and effort, you will get in return more love, good will and people's effort. You also attract the nice people if you are nice and if you are just a mean motor mouth shooting off what is on your brain, you will in return attract mean people quick to judge and criticise.
Half way through my thirties. I am now certain who I am, where I am going and what is important to me. I have decided that I am no push over, floor mat and will not tolerate having people in my life that make my feel lousy about myself. It's takes courage to cut people out that you know are no good for you. I take no crap from no one and I also try to give no crap to anyone. If you surround yourself with people and things that you love, you'll find that life is indeed great. Many people live their life from day to day thinking, this is my life and there is nothing I can do about it. There is something you can do about it. One small step at a time. If you don't like the way you are being treated, walk away! You can't change the world and control what comes out of people's mouth but you can choose how you react to them. Instead of getting upset and all worked up you can remove yourself from the situation and subsequently remove them from your world. To all the great friends and people that I have met in my 30's I am truely blessed to have you in my life. As the saying goes what comes round goes round.
What lots of people fail to realise is that when you are happy and content with life, without having to put people down or turn green with envy because someone else has more in life materially, you too will become successful in all aspects of your life. It's an attitude towards life that will translate to everything you do.
Life is a journey and there are many paths and route to choose from, some take the short cut, others take the detour. At the end of the day we all arrive at the same final destination. So are you defined by the good that you have done at the end of your journey.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Disclaimer
I would like to state for the record that all the content in this blog are my personal opinion and points of view. So if you find the content distasteful or different from your point of view.
You can choose not to read it!
Better still go start your own blog!
I am not asking anyone to subscribe to my way of life or way of thinking.
So if you please could just keep your unkind comments to yourself.
Thanks.
You can choose not to read it!
Better still go start your own blog!
I am not asking anyone to subscribe to my way of life or way of thinking.
So if you please could just keep your unkind comments to yourself.
Thanks.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Staying Sane 101
How to stay sane: a stay home mom's guide.
1. You are responsible for your own sanity. No one can help you on that. Not your husband, your maid or your friends nor children.
2. You need to get out. Once a week, catch up with friends find out what is happening in the world, you will realise that your life isn't that bad after all.
3. Do something for yourself. Have a pedicure and manicure, go for a foot massage,get your hair washed in a salon. Try and do it at least once a month, because you have to look great to feel great. Sometimes it starts from the outside.
4. Ask for help, pay for help, beg for help. You are not super human. Realise your limitations and learn to find help.
5. Staying home is no excuse to look like the floor rug. Dress up and paint your face, it makes you feel better, people treat you better and your husband will definitely be nicer.
6. When you've had enough, it is alright to cry and let it out. No one is going to think that you are loser. Sometimes letting your guard down and showing some venerability can be an advantage.
7. Realise that no one owes you crap and you put yourself in this position. So stop blaming the world and take an aspirin.
8. If you get too weary from the routine of everyday life, take a break, the floor can be cleaned tomorrow and the laundry won't run away. Bring the kids to the playground and let them run around while you sit on your fat ass and watch them.
9. Most importantly you have to find an outlet, a sanctuary where you can be you. Some people write, some people sing in the shower, some paint, others run for miles. By the way shopping is not an outlet. It has to be something you can do as and when you feel the need to let off some steam and be alone. Rushing around a crowded mall and queueing up to try clothes is anything but relaxing.
10. Finally, every one's tolerance and equilibrium is different. Some have higher threshold, other's crumble at the sight of puke. So you have to find that balance that keeps you sane, a balance that is healthy. No 2 person are alike, wishing all you mommies out there good luck in your quest to be the best mother and yet still your own person.
*an understanding and loving husband does makes things easier, but if you don't have one, get a babysitter, find a maid, leave the kids with the in laws. If a problem can be solved with money it's not a problem. Here's to better mental health!*
1. You are responsible for your own sanity. No one can help you on that. Not your husband, your maid or your friends nor children.
2. You need to get out. Once a week, catch up with friends find out what is happening in the world, you will realise that your life isn't that bad after all.
3. Do something for yourself. Have a pedicure and manicure, go for a foot massage,get your hair washed in a salon. Try and do it at least once a month, because you have to look great to feel great. Sometimes it starts from the outside.
4. Ask for help, pay for help, beg for help. You are not super human. Realise your limitations and learn to find help.
5. Staying home is no excuse to look like the floor rug. Dress up and paint your face, it makes you feel better, people treat you better and your husband will definitely be nicer.
6. When you've had enough, it is alright to cry and let it out. No one is going to think that you are loser. Sometimes letting your guard down and showing some venerability can be an advantage.
7. Realise that no one owes you crap and you put yourself in this position. So stop blaming the world and take an aspirin.
8. If you get too weary from the routine of everyday life, take a break, the floor can be cleaned tomorrow and the laundry won't run away. Bring the kids to the playground and let them run around while you sit on your fat ass and watch them.
9. Most importantly you have to find an outlet, a sanctuary where you can be you. Some people write, some people sing in the shower, some paint, others run for miles. By the way shopping is not an outlet. It has to be something you can do as and when you feel the need to let off some steam and be alone. Rushing around a crowded mall and queueing up to try clothes is anything but relaxing.
10. Finally, every one's tolerance and equilibrium is different. Some have higher threshold, other's crumble at the sight of puke. So you have to find that balance that keeps you sane, a balance that is healthy. No 2 person are alike, wishing all you mommies out there good luck in your quest to be the best mother and yet still your own person.
*an understanding and loving husband does makes things easier, but if you don't have one, get a babysitter, find a maid, leave the kids with the in laws. If a problem can be solved with money it's not a problem. Here's to better mental health!*
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
This one's for the ladies!
Okay, Ladies in the house!
I am going out this Friday and no one is going to stop me! I am exhausted physically and mentally incapacitated. It's re-charge time. Beer, wine, gossip, laughter in a strikingly hot dress. Have to watch the shoes cause when I get tipsy I tend to take my shoes off and walk around barefooted.
I am so looking forward to some form of normality, speaking in sentences dotted with vulgarities, drinking beer and burping, smoke a cigarette and eating with proper cutlery. Hopefully the few hours of being an adult will allow some balance into my life.
So to the good ladies that I will be meeting this Friday! You wait for me I'll be there! To the rest of the good ladies that I promise to meet next week, I remember, I didn't forget. And to the good good ladies that I am meeting the week after next.....see you all very very soon. I couldn't possibly imagine my life without you guys.
So this one is for all the people in my life that have in any way big or small made a difference, you cared enough and were nice to me at some point. I am truly blessed to have you around and hope that your life is too surrounded by people that make you feel life is worth living.
Muarx
I am going out this Friday and no one is going to stop me! I am exhausted physically and mentally incapacitated. It's re-charge time. Beer, wine, gossip, laughter in a strikingly hot dress. Have to watch the shoes cause when I get tipsy I tend to take my shoes off and walk around barefooted.
I am so looking forward to some form of normality, speaking in sentences dotted with vulgarities, drinking beer and burping, smoke a cigarette and eating with proper cutlery. Hopefully the few hours of being an adult will allow some balance into my life.
So to the good ladies that I will be meeting this Friday! You wait for me I'll be there! To the rest of the good ladies that I promise to meet next week, I remember, I didn't forget. And to the good good ladies that I am meeting the week after next.....see you all very very soon. I couldn't possibly imagine my life without you guys.
So this one is for all the people in my life that have in any way big or small made a difference, you cared enough and were nice to me at some point. I am truly blessed to have you around and hope that your life is too surrounded by people that make you feel life is worth living.
Muarx
Sunday, April 18, 2010
5 day work week
I would like to propose that all stay at moms get 2 days off a week. I mean everyone else only works 5 days a week and only for 8 to 10 hours. So why should we work 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Hell we don't even get public holidays off. Even on vacation we are not on vacation.
Imagine if you were to stay in your office, eat in your office and live with your colleagues 24 hours a day and 7 days a week for 20 years! I doubt anyone could possibly remain sane.
I am about to go insane. My 5 year old poop in her pants because the anti-biotic that she is taking causes loose stools. My 20 month old vomited 2 nights ago because she had indigestion from not chewing meat. There is only so much puke and crap I can take and clean. So it would be great if I could get 2 days off a week where I didn't have to clean puke or crap If possible not deal with whining and crying. It would be even better if I could go out and not see them for a day or 2.
It really is the most under valued and most under appreciated job in the world. No days off, no medical leave, no pay and worse of all we still get the brunt of relatives scrutiny and criticism if the child is not of considerable size. Don't get me wrong I love my children and my family but there are really days when I wake up and wish I was on a remote island all alone. The luxury of going to toilet alone and taking a shower without having to rush. God knows how many times I have ran out of the shower naked forgetting to rinse the conditioner from my hair because I heard my children screaming.
The tenacity and the mental strength required to stay home is not for the weak minded. It takes someone with extremely strong esteem and intelligence to rise above the mud and be the lotus. So if you think you can get through the day with zero adult interaction, speak in monosyllabic words, look at nothing more than the 4 walls of your house and tolerate heaps of high decibel screaming, squealing and crying. You might want to consider a career as a stay home mom. Please bear in mind that you are entitled to NO SICK LEAVE, NO ANNUAL LEAVE, NO PAY and NO CPF. You however get in return the love and adoration of your children and hopefully the kind understanding of your spouse.
Peace, over and out!
Imagine if you were to stay in your office, eat in your office and live with your colleagues 24 hours a day and 7 days a week for 20 years! I doubt anyone could possibly remain sane.
I am about to go insane. My 5 year old poop in her pants because the anti-biotic that she is taking causes loose stools. My 20 month old vomited 2 nights ago because she had indigestion from not chewing meat. There is only so much puke and crap I can take and clean. So it would be great if I could get 2 days off a week where I didn't have to clean puke or crap If possible not deal with whining and crying. It would be even better if I could go out and not see them for a day or 2.
It really is the most under valued and most under appreciated job in the world. No days off, no medical leave, no pay and worse of all we still get the brunt of relatives scrutiny and criticism if the child is not of considerable size. Don't get me wrong I love my children and my family but there are really days when I wake up and wish I was on a remote island all alone. The luxury of going to toilet alone and taking a shower without having to rush. God knows how many times I have ran out of the shower naked forgetting to rinse the conditioner from my hair because I heard my children screaming.
The tenacity and the mental strength required to stay home is not for the weak minded. It takes someone with extremely strong esteem and intelligence to rise above the mud and be the lotus. So if you think you can get through the day with zero adult interaction, speak in monosyllabic words, look at nothing more than the 4 walls of your house and tolerate heaps of high decibel screaming, squealing and crying. You might want to consider a career as a stay home mom. Please bear in mind that you are entitled to NO SICK LEAVE, NO ANNUAL LEAVE, NO PAY and NO CPF. You however get in return the love and adoration of your children and hopefully the kind understanding of your spouse.
Peace, over and out!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
None the wiser
5 years and 2 kids later, I think I can say I am really none the wiser. I struggle everyday just to get out of bed. I try not to exercise my vocal cords so often and off course I try my utmost best not to use the words "SHUT UP!".
I still haven't figured out why young children have to poo poo when you are doing something food related! Like when you are cooking lunch, feeding another child her meal or eating something. Sigh! I have thrown away countless dinners and lunches because I can't bring myself to eat anything after I have had to clean someones dung and buttock.
I did however find out that children from the same genetic pool i.e. same parents, can look totally different, behave in opposites, have distance in their temperaments as vast as the north and south pole. Yet amidst all these differences they MUST FIGHT AND PLAY WITH THAT ONE TOY! Even if I bought 2 identical items they will still fight.
Everyday I wake up just hoping to make it through the day without being worn down emotionally and physically by 2 small humans that I created. The last 3 days have been rather horrendous for me but that is a totally different story. I really think that when they finally grow up and decide that they don't me hanging around them anymore will truely be a happy day for me. Because that would mean that I have done such a great job raising them to be independent, strong, happy people able to look out for themselves. But more importantly I would be able to move on to the next stage of my life whatever or where ever it might take me.
I still haven't figured out why young children have to poo poo when you are doing something food related! Like when you are cooking lunch, feeding another child her meal or eating something. Sigh! I have thrown away countless dinners and lunches because I can't bring myself to eat anything after I have had to clean someones dung and buttock.
I did however find out that children from the same genetic pool i.e. same parents, can look totally different, behave in opposites, have distance in their temperaments as vast as the north and south pole. Yet amidst all these differences they MUST FIGHT AND PLAY WITH THAT ONE TOY! Even if I bought 2 identical items they will still fight.
Everyday I wake up just hoping to make it through the day without being worn down emotionally and physically by 2 small humans that I created. The last 3 days have been rather horrendous for me but that is a totally different story. I really think that when they finally grow up and decide that they don't me hanging around them anymore will truely be a happy day for me. Because that would mean that I have done such a great job raising them to be independent, strong, happy people able to look out for themselves. But more importantly I would be able to move on to the next stage of my life whatever or where ever it might take me.
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